Kevin Today

A NEW HOME

2010-07-24T16:40:00.000-05:00

Articles will now be posted on Frogs in a Pot

I am moving to a different blog software (WordPress) and to my own domain. The new software will provide additional functions and more options through the use of Open Source software. If you do not currently use Open Software software, you should check into it. It is AWESOME!

If you have any questions about it, let me know and I will do what I can to help.

Thank you for your continued support of the blog. I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

Kevin

Does this Surprise You?

2010-07-23T17:51:00.000-05:00

Are you pissed off yet? Hopefully you will be after reading this and if you are all ready, you'll be even more pissed off. Get this, some estimates say that 84 percent of all antibiotics are used in livestock, with 70 percent of that being used for solely to promote animal growth.

So what you might say, but the first thing is that Pharma is not only profiting off of humans, they are also profiting off our livestock, the food we eat! Just a little research will show how deeply intermingled the FDA is with Big Pharma, so naturally the FDA 'has' a vested interest in helping Big Pharma get bigger!

It is not a new discovery by the FDA, that the is a danger of antibiotic resistant bacteria being passed from livestock (our food) to people, this discovery is more than 30 years old! Even after 30 years of, since 1977, the FDA has been voicing concern while Agri-business continued feeding antibiotics to their stock, our food!

You have until August 28, 2010, to make comment on the The Judicious Use of Medically Important Antimicrobial Drugs in Food-Producing Animals guideline that is currently open for public comment, after 60 days this FDA 'guideline' will become policy. in FDA Deputy Commissioner Dr. Joshua Sharfstein’s own words, “This does not tell people what to do. It establishes principles and tells people how to achieve those principles.” Yeah, Big Pharma is going to pass up the opportunity to exploit this! What and miss out on the profit?

You can review the document by following this link - The Judicious Use of Medically Important Antimicrobial Drugs in Food-Producing Animals.

Instructions for both manual and electronic comments are provided within the documet.

The Most misunderstood plant on Earth

2010-07-18T12:09:00.001-05:00

Probably the first thing you think of at the mention of hemp is marijuana. (Origin of the word marijuana is unknown, both time and place of the origin. Suspected to be of Spanish descent from the names, Maria and Juana, to form the slang term Mary Jane.) It has also been suggested that the phrase marijuana come from the Guess again, though hemp and marijuana come from the same plant, Cannabis sativa. Both varieties of plant contain THC, the active ingredient in marijuana but commercial hemp contains low levels of THC and is essentially useless for getting ‘high.’

One thing that is apparent and sad, is that many people vying for the legalization of marijuana often intermix and confuse the properties and values of commercial hemp with the recreational drug marijuana. The purpose of this article is to present the case for the legalization and benefits of commercial hemp. This article is not intended or aimed at the discussion of hemp as a recreational drug.

The History of Hemp

Hemp has a long history in the world, with the first documented use about 8000 years ago in the form of fabric as found used to make fabric. It also has a long history in the United States, until the 1930’s hemp was a legal cash crop in the US. Both George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were growers and even Benjamin Franklin started one of America’s first paper mills, using hemp!

In 1619, the first hemp law was enacted in the United States, at Jamestown Colony, Virginia, the law ordered all farmers to grow hemp seed. Farmers could face jail time for failing to abide by the law. There were several other 'required grow' laws in the US over history. Because of a hemp shortage between 1763 and 1776, you could be jailed in Virginia for failing to comply. During this time, hemp was even considered 'legal tender' and it was even possible to pay taxes hemp. (Can you imagine telling the tax man today, “Yeah I've got a pound of hemp you can have.”?

In 1950, the US Census, counted 8,327 hemp plantations, producing the critical crop. (a plantation at the time was a minimum farm of 2000 acres.) In 1942, the United States government had the “Hemp for Victory” program and even the USDA produced a film Hemp for Victory encouraging US farmers to grow hemp in support of the war effort.

Other recorded 'requirements exist in government history, both of the US and others but are too lengthy to include in their entirety here.

The Illegalization of Hemp in the United States

Growing and cultivation of hemp (commercial) is legal in Canada and all states of the European Union.
The criminalization of hemp in this country is quite fascinating and nauseating too. Read up on the history in the US, beginning in the 1930’s and you will read such names as Du Pont (owner of the largest chemical company) and William Randolph Hearst (owner of the largest newspaper chain, along with other tabloids, magazines and film). Did these two entities help destroy the US Hemp market? Did Du Pont lobby the chief counsel of the Treasury Department, Herman Oliphant, to criminalize hemp cultivation in support of Du Pont’s petrochemical products?

Did William Randolph Heart's newspapers also simultaneously begin campaigns to portray Mexicans as "lazy, degenerate, and violent," and as marijuana smokers and job stealers. Given the vast amount of resources at his disposal; newspapers, magazines, periodicals and film, Hearst definitely had the means to 'sway' the opinions of the U.S. Hearst used headlines such as "Marijuana goads user to blood lust" and "Hotel clerk identifies Marijuana smoker as gunman". In headlines to sway opinion on hemp. Motivation also seemed to be prevalent with him as well. Further motivation was, through the massive holdings in lumber that he had.

Racism was a big motivator for Hearst, through his 'hate' for Mexicans, both thru there influx to the U.S. And his losing approximately 800,000 acres of timberland to Pancho Villa. His hatred showed in many of the articles published in his publications showing his hated for minorities. Many of these articles were slated and used at 'demonizing' hemp to further his agenda to have it outlawed.

Lammont Du Pont also figures prominently with the criminalization of hemp in the U.S. Lammont Du Pont and William Randolph Hearst were well acquainted, and quite possible friends. Lammont Du Pont also had reason to see hemp outlawed as the crop had the potential of hindering his prosperity. Around this time, Lammont Du Pont introduced Hearst to a method of developing paper from wood pulp, surprisingly developed by Du Pont. Further Du Pont, had reason to want the commercial hemp market illegalized in the U.S., as his company developed many products that were directly threatened and in competition of the company's products. A 'partnership' with Hearst, both in the paper industry and getting Hemp illegalized worked well, for both Lammont Du Pont.

Enter Harry J. Anslinger, soon to become the Commissioner of the Treasury Bureau of Narcotics, who was the nephew-in-law of Andrew Mellon. Mellon was at the time Lammont Du Pont's banker, Mellon was also at this time, the Secretary of Treasury, under Herbert Hoover. Henry Anslinger, is said to have gotten the Marijuana Tax Law of 1937 passed and he is also attributed with being the first Drug Czar of the United States!

Ansingler flatly declared, 'they can continue to raise hemp just as they have always done it. It makes fine cordage and this legislation exempts the mature stalk when in It is grown for hemp purposes.' Read the statement given by him to before the Ways and Means Committee . Alsinger, was purported to direct field agents to submit stories which were compiled into what is now known as the Gore Files, which Anslinger referred to often in his 'fight' against hemp. Later studies have found the contents of the Gore File essentially had no bearing, on either the 'drug war' or the illegalization of hemp.

Anslinger was a racist too? Yes, supposedly he was and often quoted articles from Hearst's newspapers. Here are some reported quotes made by him, racist and anti-'hemp.'

“Marijuana is an addictive drug which produces in its users insanity, criminality, and death.”

“Reefer makes darkies think they’re as good as white men.”

“Marihuana influences Negroes to look at white people in the eye, step on white men’s shadows and look at a white woman twice.”…….Hearst newspaper 1935

While it is 'legal' to grow hemp in the U.S., it is an expensive and substantial. The DEA (Drug Enforcement Agency) put strict controls and requires strict security for for facilities growing hemp. A DEA permit is required before growing hemp, making research or production virtually cost prohibitive in the U.S. .

Currently, Canada and all European Union countries allow the growth and production of hemp. In the U.S., hemp products must be imported or manufactured from imported hemp products.
Hemp as a Crop
In February, 1938, Popular Mechanics stated “New Million Dollar Crop” in an article, although the editors must have been unfamiliar with the 1937 Marijuana Tax Act that was passed in the U.S. Popular Mechnaics. The article makes several references to the potential benefits of hemp as a crop in the U.S.

Henry Ford, demonstrates (below) his 'new' car made from plastic derived from plants, shown. He claims the plastic is tough enough to withstand 9,000 lbs of pressure without breaking.

Henry Ford, has also been touted as the icon of renewable energy.

Over a century ago, shown below posing with his Model-T, the first flexible fuel automobile. It was able to run on gas, ethanol, or a combination.

The viability of biofuels and composites were proven viable by Henry Ford about the same time Du Pont and Hearst, were 'working' to have hemp outlawed in the United States.

Some claim that (commercial) hemp has between 25,000 and 50,000 uses, in many cases replacing many of the products of today. Benefits of hemp for the use of products include, the removal of harmful chemicals and petrochemicals, less dependance on non-renewable sources, increased nutrition and easing of a burdened food supply, consequently reducing hunger and malnutrition.

The list goes on and on, but the many benefits of commercial hemp are outside the scope of this article.
Hemp is, renewable, recyclable, reusable and environmentally safe.

The benefits of hemp are numerous and include:

Paper: Uses as natural process for manufacturing as opposed to wood pulp which requires petrochemicals. Paper created from hemp is higher quality and more durable (does not tear as easily), does not yellow and is longer lasting. Also, hemp paper can be recycled more times than paper created from wood pulp. Converting paper mills to use hemp instead of wood pulp would require little conversion or cost.

Building Materials: Hemp yields up to four times the average forest, producing three to eight tons of fiber per acre. Studies by Washington State University, found fiber board created from hemp to be stronger than than wood fiber. Long growing forests can be saved by using fast growing, replenishable hemp.
Many of the building materials made from wood can be made from hemp, and be lighter and stronger.
Since hemp has a resistance to heat, the manufacture of insulation and insulating products have increased value in building materials as well as other markets.

Fuel: Producing more bio-mass per acre than other crops. Hydrocarbons from hemp can be used in place of other polluting, non-renewable fossil fuels. Additionally, hemp can be manufactured into fuel pellets, liquid fuel, gas, and ethanol, further reducing our dependance on fossil fuels and nuclear power.

Petrochemicals: Because hemp is rich in cellulose and can be used to create biodegradable plastics, reducing landfill waste, the 'Plastic Island,' and be more environmentally friendly. Hemp can be processed into materials to be used for injection molding further reducing the dependance of fossil fuels and being safer for the envionment.

Paints and Varnishes: For thousands of years the finest paints and varnishes came from hemp produced products. In 1935, the U.S. Used 58K tons of hemp for the production alone.

Most of the master artists of the world, Van Gogh, Gainsborough, Rembrandt etc, used hemp canvas (canvas is a derivative of cannabis) to create their masterpieces.

Food: Estimates for hemp food products in the U.S. Between 20-33 million dollars.

Automotive Industry: Almost all major automotive manufacturers are researching the value of hemp for use in the automotive industry. As demonstrated above, plastics developed from hemp can be used in the manufacture of automobiles. Also, the replacement of many of the petrochemicals used in various components of automotive manufacturing.

Personal Care: Estimates for hemp personal care products is around 70-90 million dollars and growing. Many manufacturers are creating and many retailers offering a wide range of products containing hemp. The web is 'packed' with retailers offering a wide variety of personal health care products, from bath soap to laundry detergent. All with benefits, both to the individual and the environment.

Textile Industry: Many well known designers are beginning to use hemp fabric for their creations and many retail outlets are marketing the apparel. An international shoe manufacturer has designed a hemp shoe. Carpet manufacturers are turning to hemp as the choice for fibers in creating ecological carpets based on its durability and strength.

Hemp offers more resistance to the sun than cotton.
The advantages of hemp over cotton are numerous, including strength, durability, also the growing properties of hemp over cotton.

Crop Growth and advantages

Improvement of soil fertility by converting nitrogen into organically bound nitrogen. Hemp crops are not damaging to the bio-diversity of land. Requiring no fertilizer or pesticides, hemp is economical and safe. Crop rotation is not a requirement as with other crops, in some instances hemp has been raised fourteen years straight without damage to the soil. With its long root system, hemp promotes land conservation by reducing erosion of the land. The water requirements for hemp is low and not so demanding as other crops.
Production of cotton requires approximately 50% of the fertilizers and pesticides worldwide. Cotton crops have a high demand for water, increasing its costs. Less strong than hemp, cotton also has a fiber at one and one half to two inches versus up to fifteen feet with hemp.

Things you can do

Educate yourself about the difference of commercial hemp and marijuana.
Spread the information to others.
Support hemp products to increase the awareness, assist in reducing the cost, improve your life and your health through the use of hemp productis.
Lobby law makers to legalize the production and harvesting of commercial hemp. Removing the stringent laws in place in the U.S. Further promoting a renewable, ecological and economical crop.
Visit for more information:Vote Hemp

One Leg at a Time

2010-07-18T11:49:00.001-05:00

Do you remember the first time you ever put your pants on without sitting down, or leaning against something to do it? Well, as sad but true as it is, I do. It was just a few months ago, after my stroke. Actually since last October, I have had to learn to do a lot of things again. Frustrating? You cannot even begin to imagine how frustrating it can be! Imagine all of the things we do on a daily basis with little or no thought of it, getting dressed, reading, writing, walking, etc. And those are some of the 'advanced' things. How about swallowing? Being able to see or breath? Can you for just a moment imagine 'not knowing' how to do any of these things? Take a minute more and imagine that you do know how to do these things and just can't, because your body won't let you!

Yes, since my stroke, there are a few things I have had to learn to do again, like putting my pants on, reading, writing and swallowing. These are just a very few of things we all hope to be able to do. After we can, they largely become second nature and we take them for granted. Once learned, we 'mark' them off the chart as accomplishments in our life! They are done, we know how to do them and we don't very often, if ever, give them a second thought. Once learned, we do not think about never being able to do them again. More importantly, rather than thinking about them do you ever stop and give the time to give thanks? It doesn't have to be to God, just whatever it is you believe in.

The thing is, you will probably never need to learn to do these things again! You never know though, you just might. There are so many diseases and afflictions which can take all of these things and so much more away from you. And it can happen in a split second! Without any warning, and all too often with out any forethought on your part, your whole world is 'turned upside down,' at any age! Everything you once knew is no more and your are left 'helpless' and all too often 'useless.' The really sad thing is that it doesn't just seem to be in your mind that you think these things, it seems to be so in the minds of others as well.

Do I consider myself helpless or useless? No, not at all do I seem that way to you? Hell, to see me, you wouldn't even know anything was wrong with me unless me or someone else told you. Yes, I went through the 'useless' and 'helpless' stages! It is hard to imagine that we all don't at some point if we have suffered a catastrophic diseases or illness. Some people never come out of the depression, whatever form it takes for them. For them, I am truly sad, I couldn't imagine! Were, or if my condition to have stayed the same or gets worse, I could not imagine wanting to continue on with such a life. Truly, I am blessed though, be it from the God I believe in, the Universe, the Mother – whoever, I know I am blessed to have the things I have.

How many of us who are 'helpless' and 'useless' are forgotten though? Sad as it is to say, it appears to be a great many. Most of us? Really, I do not know and do not care, one is too many! All too often though we are 'forgotten,' our families and friends 'too busy' with their lives to spend much or any time with us. Remember, you could be one of 'us' in a split second, that is all it takes!

It is amazing and a good thing that the human race, at least not yet, have not 'progressed' to the point of 'putting down' humans who have either 'served their purpose' becoming ill or sick, or to 'rid' humanity of those born to this world who prove to be a 'burden' to others and society, much like we do dogs and cats!. Don't be surprised, these aren't my thoughts but the thoughts do reside in the minds of some 'humans.' Just refer to my previous article
who is John Holdren? if you do not believe this.

Get your priorities straight, visit and if you can, take a part, in the life of people you know, yes, family and friends. You never know, the day may come that it it you that is 'wanting.' Don't take the easy way out and leave these individuals at the hand of 'our' government to be the care taker. The responsibility of the son and daughter are the same as that of the parents to the children. At the same time, if you cannot rely on your brother (or sister) can they rely on you? Forget not what the importance and purpose of family is.

What happened to blood being thicker than water?

It Does a Body Good

2010-07-14T01:33:00.000-05:00

It does a body good.....or so most all of us have been told all of our lives. I am sure most of us grew up with the infamous words, drink all of your milk, it is good for you. Mom couldn't be wrong could she? Certainly she wouldn't tell us something that isn't true! Maybe she didn't have the whole story though and was only telling only us part of the truth!

We all know there are different kinds of milk – cow's milk, goat's milk, mother's milk, etc. - but did you realize there are different kinds of cow milk? Unpasteurized and pasteurized aside! Actually the pasteurization process was developed for beer! Yes, it was developed so that beer will not spoil! Of course many things can be pasteurized, turning them into 'dead' things and increasingly, it seems our government is finding more and more to pasteurize. In recent years, a bill passed in California, requiring the pasteurization of almonds.

Pasteurization has its place and use in our health, after all who wants to drink spoiled beer?

When it comes to milk, pasteurization does not keep it from spoiling but only serves to make it 'safe,' or some claim. Actually, the pasteurization process heats up milk and destroys valuable enzymes, such as vitamins A, C, B6, and B12, are diminished, milk proteins are transformed into unnatural amino acid configurations that may actually be worse for your health. The pasteurization process also destroying beneficial bacteria in milk, promoting pathogens!

Requiring the pasteurization of milk is a great way to tax milk which supposedly is much of the reason for requiring milk to be pasteurized. If the milk is not required to go from the dairy farmer but directly to the purchaser, the government has no way to track and tax the milk. Another way for taxation? In studies conducted, lactose people (some) were able to tolerate unpasteurized milk even when they had been diagnosed lactose intolerant on pasteurized milk.

What I didn't know and you probably do not either

Unless you have done research, as I have, or you are in the bovine industry, you probably do not know that there are two types of milk produced by cows, A1 and A2 milk. The protein beta-casein is the interest in these two types of milk. Proteins are long chains of amino acids. In the case of beta casein it is a chain of 229 amino acids. This protein is produced with a proline at number 67 in A2 cows. On the other hand, A1 cows have a mutated proline amino acid, that converts to histidine.

There is another small protein called BCM 7 which A2 milk has a strong bond with helping to keep it from being released. The mutated protein (Histidine) only weakly holds onto BCM 7 for it to be released in the GI tract of animals and humans. BCM 7, a powerful opiate can detrimentally impact your health.

Neither raw goat or sheep milk contains BCM 7 and may be considered as a safe alternative.

The most commonly discussed problem is the production (release of) phlegm, which confirms findings in reference to drinking milk. More potential hazards which BCM 7 have been linked to:

Type 1 diabetes
Neurological impairment, including autism and schizophrenia
Impaired immune function
Autoimmune disease
Heart disease

For further reading on beta-casein, you can read www.beta-casein.com for a comprehensive list of published reports on A1 and A2 milk, their differences and the health risks.

Primarily the 'wrong' breeds of cattle are raised in the United States, black and white breeds such as Holsteins and Friesians. In the United States, Holsteins are one of the most popular breeds.

A2 milk producing breeds include Jersey’s, Guernsey, Asian and African cows. These breeds primarily produce A2 milk.

You can locate raw (real) milk producers in the United States by visiting this link Real Milk Stores in California, can be located at California Locator
To check out the legal status of raw milk in your state, go to Raw Milk Legal status by state

How much will you take?

2010-07-11T21:21:00.001-05:00

As I sit researching and writing material for these blog articles, I shake my head and wonder what is going to piss somebody off as much as I am already. Maybe I am not conveying the message or presenting the material in the right way. The last three days I've been working on an article about the legalization of hemp. The more I learn, the more aggravated and angry I become. Now maybe you are like many other people who associate hemp and marijuana to be the same thing.

Man are you wrong but don't feel bad many other people are as well. It had been my intent to be able to publish this article, this weekend. Not so, it is almost as if I have went down a rabbit hole. There is so much lying, deceitfulness, greed, selfishness and self righteousness going in so many directions. As it is I'm taking a break from writing this article, there's so much information to share and so much a knowledge necessary that I want to do it justice. In the coming week I will complete the article and it will blow you away! To think people can be so selfish and narrow minded to fulfill their own greed at the expense of the world is unbelievable.

So before I close this, let me leave you with this. Can any one give me a definition and an origin of the word marijuana, other than Spanish for Maria and Juana. Where and when did the word come from? If you know, e-mail me at kwj102761@gmail.com.

Please be sure to include references to your definition. I would be curious since this is the only reference I am able to find. Provide me with a true and accurate definition with a verifiable reference and I will send you a $25.00 gift card.

Marked for Life

2010-07-08T12:01:00.000-05:00

Before making any judgments against me or forming any conclusions, I do not condone or advocate sexual offenses in anyway but sometimes you have to wonder are we mad or what? And what happened to parental duties, obligations and responsibility? When one hears about such things as 'shoving' kids outside so the parents can have sex without interruption, you really have to wonder where parental responsibility has gone.

Imagine, you are sitting at work and you get a call from the police telling you, your child has been arrested. Not for anything you might expect though, you are told that your child is a sexual pervert and there is nothing you can do to help them!

In many, maybe all(?), cases of sexual offender this is a 'mark' carried for life and in most all cases a sexual offender is a list for life and subject to numerous things they cannot do. The cases of juvenile sex offenders cannot be sealed in most cases and the only hope of having such a record removed is a pardon from the governor. Limiting a teenager, or younger, for life seems a far cry from rehabilitation. To be limited where one can live, or what kind of job a person can have seems extreme. Not to mention putting a juvenile in prison with adults! Now how the hell is that rehabilitation? It is an even bigger tragedy that in many cases, KIDS are treated as adults. The same assessment tools, rehabilitation and punishment used for all ages.

In just one states, between the years of 1997 and 2008. more than 3500 CHILDREN, were convicted as felony sex offenders some being as young as 10, the average being 14. Often times child sex offenders are average kids, geeky, nerdy, and socially immature according to some therapists. They go on to say, often times major factors are where they live or how their families work.

The Adam Walsh Ac, also known as also known as the Sex Offender Registration and Notification Act (SORNA), which all states were to adhere to by 2009, or risk losing federal money. States are adapting their own laws and adopting laws with less of a hard line against juveniles, realizing treatment is often times the best approach to resolving the problem especially with non-adults.

Why do the Americans always win?

2010-07-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

This question was posed to me by a friend not long ago as we critiqued and discussed one of the 'block buster' movies for the summer. He asked by did the American's always seem to win? Of course I had to laugh! Partly because of the movie and the way the American's won in the end but also because the American's did seem to win in the end.

My response to the question was that it is a great marketing ploy of course made to lead you to believe the Americans were unbeatable and would always win in the end. It is a way to make you feel safe and secure, to win your trust so you would come to believe the Americans would solve all our problems, hardships and worries! Also though, without the Americans, we would never win, never be safe or secure. To cause you to believe we needed them for our survival!

All this said with two wars going on, in two countries that we seemingly will never win even though we continue to throw personnel, supplies and money at them! And what will become, if it isn't all ready the largest and worst man-made disaster in our own yard? How the hell will America ever win against Mother Nature as they did in such movies as Armagadden and 2012? The (very real) Oi Spill?

Ah but how we get sucked in, how we believe (or want to believe) that America (man) will always come out on top and man-kind will continue to live and prosper! Ah the American government, they will see us through! Of course though this is the same American government that brought us the Bonus Army, the subsidization of corn growers and high fructose corn syrup and through such the demise of the American Sugar Industry, the 16th Amendment, and many more tragedies against the American people, the very people the government is meant to serve and protect.

So yes, maybe the American Government will attempt to win against Mother Nature and other foes, as long as there is a 'buck' in it for them!

Who is John Holdren?

2010-07-05T20:59:00.000-05:00

Recently appointed by "President" Obama, as the Science Czar.

In 1977, he co-authored a book, stating the following:

Forced abortions. Mass sterilization. A "Planetary Regime" with the power of life and death over American citizens.

• Women could be forced to abort their pregnancies, whether they wanted to or not;
• The population at large could be sterilized by infertility drugs intentionally put into the nation's drinking water or in food;
• Single mothers and teen mothers should have their babies seized from them against their will and given away to other couples to raise;
• People who "contribute to social deterioration" (i.e. undesirables) "can be required by law to exercise reproductive responsibility" -- in other words, be compelled to have abortions or be sterilized.
• A transnational "Planetary Regime" should assume control of the global economy and also dictate the most intimate details of Americans' lives -- using an armed international police force.

These were some of the thoughts and ideas, in 1977, of the man who is now the Science Czar, under "President" Obama. Want to read and know more? Go here http://zombietime.com/john_holdren/

2010-07-05T20:49:00.001-05:00

The Sounds of War

2010-07-05T11:37:00.000-05:00

For three nights, I have sat on the front porch listening and watching what most assuredly must be a war zone. The sounds of what must assuredly be that of small arms fire has rang in my ears along with sound of 'rocket' launchers being heard. The whistling of projectiles as they made way to their target was unmistakable through the night. The acidic smell of the burning gun powder filling our noses and the air as it drifted through the air and across the night. At night the landscape and skyline lit by the bursting shells bringing an eerie sight to the eyes accompanied by the seemingly constant burst of exploding ammunition.

What a relief it was to know that the sights and sounds were not those of a war zone but more a celebration. What they were celebrating though I truly had to wonder. Did the revelers have any idea of that which they celebrated which had been paid for by the lives of millions across countless lands, even possibly their own 'home?' What the burst of 'gunfire' and exploding shells truly represented?

Be it right or wrong, the blood has been spilled and lives given throughout the years, across miles by people of the United States, so that we may today live to celebrate. Seemingly, the sights and sounds of the holiday go on with little or no recollection for the reason for the celebration. It seems that the tradition of remembering and honoring has given way to the celebration and the time off. How long will be before the time for celebration is also forgotten as seemingly as the reason for the celebration has?

It just keeps going and going!

2010-07-05T11:10:00.000-05:00

It just keeps going and going. Of course, every time, I hear about this I think of that 'cute' little 'harmless' bunny! Sadly it is not the drums of the bunny I am hearing, it is the continuously leaking oil well in the Gulf that I am hearing.

The facts surrounding the oil spill sound like fiction as much as fact. The story you hear changes from day to day, person to person but still the oil is leaking, life of all kinds continues to die and money is 'lost.' The damage started the day the explosion occurred, the effects sure to reach just about everyone, in one way or another. If you have not yet realized the effects, just wait you will, it is only a matter of time! Either directly, or indirectly, the oil spill will have an affect on your life in some way.

From the deaths of thousands of birds and fish, the numbers grow in the area covered and the number of species. How many years will we continue to feel the effects of the oil spill, in how many different ways? We may never truly know! The stories and the reported facts seem ever elusive, and you have to wonder at the magnitude and breadth of the damage, both that caused so far and what will be when (if) the catastrophe is ever behind us.

The effects and breadth of the damage seemingly reach new proportions all the time. If you listen or read to reports, we are now faced with the dying of plankton, the base of the food chain. With this comes a depletion of the oxygen in the gulf which will potentially cause thousands of more deaths, as well as bring even As the oxygen is deleted further, a chain reaction occurs 'driving' many species closer to the shoreline causing more fear, more loss of money and more death! It may be years, if ever, before we know the full impact of this oil spill on earth and humanity.

It is a Crime!

2010-07-04T19:36:00.000-05:00

Many, like myself are fed up with the ways that companies perform their business and take advantage of others. After all companies are made up and ran by individuals right? It seems largely though that companies are their own class and as such allowed to behave and profit, even if at the expense of you and I, or others than we know. While you and I are subject to rules and consequences, it seems that companies while having rules suffer no consequences when they break the rules!

When I was brought up, I was taught to lead by example! It is a damn good thing I don't follow some of the examples that some of the largest companies or most prominent figures live or I would be in a bunch of trouble! Just think back in 'recent' years of some of the companies and markets that have been so prominently displayed; savings and loans, Enron, the telecommunications industry, the financial industry, BP. What consequences did they suffer from all their ills (illegal) dealings. Where you one of the lucky few who profited from their misdeeds? More so, maybe it was you or a family member who suffered at the hands (actions) of these 'leaders' in our world economy!

Why is it that profit seems to have become so important in our life times, so important that we are willing to risk everything for the sake of it? If we don't risk everything in one way, assuredly many of us 'risk' or give our lives in the pursuit of profit! How long have you been with the company you work for? Putting your loyalty in something believing that entity is looking out for your best interest and comfortable life when you retire. How quickly are they willing to let you go rather than risk their bottom line, or next report to the stockholders? The true bottom line is we mean SHIT to most as they go about pursuing their own goals and objectives! How much are you willing to give? What are you willing to sacrifice?

More and more, it seems that largely society wants to work less, not work as hard and still have the same things and more than they ever had! Everyone is out to make a quick and easy 'buck' whatever the sacrifice and at whoever' expense. Don't believe me? Just take a look around you, look and listen to the sacrifices people are willing to make and do make, so their lives are 'easier.'

Don't worry things aren't going to get easier for you, but someone is going to continue to get rich, at your expense! It will never change, not until you are willing to make change in your life.

"Not on Our Watch" - No Expiration Date

2010-06-23T04:29:00.000-05:00

Almost every public office I know of has an oath of office. Whether elected or appointed to the office, the person taking office is required to take the oath of office. When a person joins the military to take an oath. The oath taken a similar to the one taken by the members of the U.S. military shown below. As far as I'm aware there is no expiration date on any of the oaths.

I, (NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

There's a group who firmly believe in the oaths that we took, the Oath Keepers. no matter when the oath was taken, it is still honored today. The oath taken is just as sacred and necessary today, if not more, then when the oath was administered.

In 1980, I only though I knew what the oath meant, all the same I was ever so eager to take it. So great was my devotion and love for this country, I was ready to die for it and all it meant. A lot of time has passed since my taking of the oath in 1980, but also I have gained a lot of information and knowledge. Knowledge about the true meaning and importance of The US Constitution and the Bill of Rights, what they mean and what they stand for. Today, over thirty years later, this oath means more to me and is more important than ever. Whenever they took the oath, I am sure that very much the same is true of all my brothers and sisters who have taken the same, or similar oath.

The motto of the Oath Keepers is - "Not On My Watch"

Oath Keepers will obey the orders shown below. The greatest concern should be that we have these orders. By doing show it should be apparent, there are laws in existence which 'mandate' these very things. At any time we could be subject to such laws that are in violation of what and why this country was founded.

1. We will NOT obey orders to disarm the American people.
2. We will NOT obey orders to conduct warrantless searches of the American people
3. We will NOT obey orders to detain American citizens as “unlawful enemy combatants” or to subject them to military tribunal.
4. We will NOT obey orders to impose martial law or a “state of emergency” on a state.
5. We will NOT obey orders to invade and subjugate any state that asserts its sovereignty.
6. We will NOT obey any order to blockade American cities, thus turning them into giant concentration camps.
7. We will NOT obey any order to force American citizens into any form of detention camps under any pretext.
8. We will NOT obey orders to assist or support the use of any foreign troops on U.S. soil against the American people to “keep the peace” or to “maintain control."
9. We will NOT obey any orders to confiscate the property of the American people, including food and other essential supplies.
10.We will NOT obey any orders which infringe on the right of the people to free speech, to peaceably assemble, and to petition their government for a redress of grievances.

Go jump off a bridge it is good for you!

2010-06-23T03:20:00.000-05:00

If I told you to do this would you? You probably wouldn't do it if I said to but would you if someone else told you to? You probably still wouldn't, but it seems that we do almost every day. Why is it that people seem to blindly accept what others tell them is good for them. Why is it, that parents blindly accept someone else telling them that they should and to in this case require their children to comply. And they do this without knowing all the information or the full impact. When

When I first heard about this, I was outraged and totally opposed. The more I learned the more my feelings of resistance grew. These feelings mounted and intensified, and continue to grow. First off, I have an issue with any one mandating or regulating, things that affect my body or someone else. This infuriates me more when I learn of possible conflict of interest, or greed.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

This is something we probably all heard about recently, especially if you have a daughter between the ages of 14 and 24. Wait! A new initiative will have even younger girls receiving treatment to promote acceptance among parents. Going even further in may be a requirement that have your son receive the same treatment. Wait! A new initiative, may have your younger daughters receiving the same treatment and even your son'
sreceiving the treatment.

If you haven't figured out yet what I'm talking about, you're either don't have children or you've been living under a rock. What I am talking about is the 'new' HPV vaccination.

Before you run out, or drag your children out, to the Dr. for this vaccine, you may want to research are more. There are several things you will probably we need to know, at least want to know, before signing the dotted line in taking the needle.

One of the major things that are really irks me about this is the new initiative. To even suggest, but the vaccination be given to younger kids, merely for it to be more widely accepted by parents. I'll ludicrous is this? Where's the merit and value in giving it to younger kids? Is it so that will be more accepting when giving a our older children were sent to increase the size of bank accounts?

Hey I have made my decision and maybe you have to. If you haven't made the decision or been faced with it yet, get the facts first. This is not a magic wand or cure all the HPV or cervical cancer. This is not a cure and it best could be a prevention. The most effective way, and most economical way, is to test sexually active people for HPV and treat the HPV.

Know the facts and make informed decisions, don't blindly accept the word of others especially if there's a chance that they stand to profit at your expense. Separate marketing from actual data and statistics.

Where have I been ?

2010-06-23T01:51:00.000-05:00

The last few days, have found me engrossed in on my latest endeavor and left me little time for much else. Right now I'm involved with establishing an organic food co-op. While I had hoped for interest in the idea, it has been greater than I expected with no more exposure than it has so far. Currently I am working on a new web site to be used to disseminate information about the initiative. As soon as the web site is up and running I will publish the address to it here.

An organic coop is something that is valuable to the community. We must begin to be dependent on our local community for survival and not be so willing to accept products from wherever they come. If you were not familiar with coop, you should make yourself more knowledgeable as to what a coop is and what it can do for you and your community. While I expect the coop will keep me busy for quite some time, I hope to make myself available to write more often.

It is important for all of us to be involved and aware of what is going on. We must ensure the continued success and survivability of our communities. Our reluctance to take an active stand and part is and will continue to be a major factor in the declined and death of our communities. We only need to look at cities such as Detroit, to understand the significance. For far too long we have relied on corporations and governments for our survivability and continue on the same path. Governments and corporations are ran by individuals with narrow minded thoughts that are not necessarily in the best interest of everyone involved. Far too often and the corporations and governments have shortsighted goals that served their purpose primarily.

Ultimately it is not about the profit is about the people who the corporations and the governments represent. If we continue, to allow ourselves to be dependent on these entities, we will allow ourselves to be controlled by them. We need only to look around ourselves and listen to the news to know that governments and corporations are becoming more and more self serving with little regards to individuals.

What is punishment for?

2010-06-16T03:54:00.002-05:00

Why do ‘we’ impose sentences and fines upon people? Do you have a good understanding of the sentencing laws in your jurisdiction and how they work? Perhaps you should lest you be taken by surprise sometime!

Really, I suppose sentences and fines have a place in the world, or at least some people would tend to think so. So if sentences and fines do their magic and work as deterrents to more crimes being committed, I propose this: Anytime a crime is committed by any elected or appointed public official let’s make an example out of them. Give them two times the maximum fine for the crime being committed! How is that for deterrence?

Let’s take it a step further though to ensure there is no favoritism! Every time one of these officials is brought up on charges, let us require a special ‘board’ akin to a Grand Jury to oversee their trial! To make it even more fair and unbiased, let the ‘board’ be comprised of people who are from a different jurisdiction from which the accused comes! And to make it even more fair, let’s say that no one on the board can be of the same political party!

To make it even more fair and special to be on this ‘board’ let’s say anyone on a board who is accused (accused not necessarily convicted) of a crime related to any case they convene for be privy to the same sentencing as the accused in the case. The ‘board’ would oversee the proceedings and ensure the letter of the law was followed with no favoritism or special privileges!

While we are at it, why don’t we extend the sentencing laws to include any individuals associated with the accused. Any sentencing laws applicable to the accused would be extended to these individuals as well! For instance a private individual offers a bribe to an official, the private individual gets the same sentence. Of course, there will be a need for a ‘special board’ for this person or persons as well.

While we are at is, let’s go one step further and make it so there are no double standards! Elected and appointed officials are subject to the same laws as an ‘average’ citizen, there is no special consideration or circumstances!

How is this for deterrence?

Reverse Discrimination

2010-06-16T02:02:00.000-05:00

Something I really hate is discrimination in any form or fashion. I can remember long hours of conversation with my parents on a number of topics. One of the most heated debates was on racial discrimination. I love my parents deeply but this is one thing we could not agree on. They for their own reasons felt discrimination toward some races. While high on the other hand could not see their points and argued vehemently that all people are the same regardless of their race.

It is my thoughts and opinions that discrimination occurs whenever special action or legislation is generated for a specific group or race. Why is it necessary to expend all the resources (primarily time and money) promulgating all the laws and guidelines? When in actuality aren’t we all the same? Undoubtedly, there are special circumstances were some laws and regulations are necessary. Primarily this is for special circumstances such as the disabled. This is only necessary because largely people are uneducated to understand the special circumstances and requirements or unwilling to accept the differences of some people.

When you look at many applications for employment and the myriad of other things, you will see the statement: We do not discriminate based on race, color, religion, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, marital status, disability, age or veteran status… Alternatively, something very similar to this. As you read through the list that is easy to see that each of the group is listed is comprised of human beings. Shouldn’t the same basic law apply to each of them? Even this statement alone portrays pretty well how our thoughts of discrimination should be. In my mind, I do not see that there should be any requirement to single them out!

When we single out a group of people, isn’t that in a sense discriminating against them? Hell now we are free to classify and make distinguishing comments and opinions about the group! Is that not in a sense a form of discrimination? Hell, I fall into as least five or six of the categories listed! So I have to know all those laws to be sure I am being treated fairly?

Why do we have kids?

2010-06-16T00:48:00.001-05:00

Why do we have kids?

Yes, we probably all know the original reason were meant to have kids, procreate and populate the world. We must have gotten the message pretty good with a world population of 6,697,254,041 (according to the World Bank and I have to ask WTF does the World Bank have to do with it? That is another post though) we got the message pretty well and took it literally. Maybe ‘someone’ should have told us to stop? There are approximately 490,000 babies born per day around the world. And we just keep populating!

This isn’t about the population of the world though, this is about kids and families. Around the world there are millions of kids who are members of single parent families. Now this does not mean they were born immaturely or anything, it often times mean the parents got a divorce. Of maybe they were born out of wedlock, or sometimes because one of the parents is deceased. Whatever the reason, we still have these millions of kids living in a ‘single’ parent household. Blessings be with these parents or the kids could fall into another classification.

Often times these kids and single parents have a tougher time of it due to all the dynamics of raising a family, especially in this day and time! We are all aware of the problems encountered by single parents, log hours, multiple jobs, trying to be the mom and dad, the list goes on and on. Really though who suffers the most? It is the kids that have to suffer from a single parent family. Not that single parent families aren’t adequate or more than adequate, hell in some cases they are better than the ‘original’ two parent family. No wonder how wonderful the parent is, the kids still suffer in one way or another.

So why do we continue to have kids, especially at the rate we do? It is not for the original reason to populate the world, or to help take care of the family or the farm! Maybe we give in to the propaganda that says we should have so many kids. Personally I am still looking for the half a kid my government says I should have! Does anyone have half a kid?

Wait before I go any further, let me say for the record I LOVE kids, in case anyone is wondering. If I had my way, I would have had a dozen kids! I just wasn’t in my cards though to have a dozen kids.

So why do we keep having kids? It seems to me that we continue to have kids for one of several reasons; 1) we are still trying to populate the world (wait didn’t you get the memo? We are over capacity now!, 2) we still believe in the family unit (you might want to listen to the song “Cat’s in the Cradle”), 3) we don’t know where kids come from (no wonder we have an education problem or our parents failed to communicate with us), 4) we have an ego problem and have an intense need to see a ‘mini-me’, 5) we believe what we are told and strive for the 2.5 kids (wake the hell up), 6) we need a purpose in life! , 7) we truly love kids and want to have a good life with them.

Twice in the last two weeks I have received inquiries for me to donate my sperm because some ‘chick’ wanted to have a baby in a not so normal way! No commitments, no family responsibilities. Wait a minute what is wrong with this picture other than the fact that I am old?

So a couple starts out with the right idea, get married, have kids and raise them the right way. Somewhere along the way though something goes wrong and one of the parents (sometimes both) the parents split and breakup the family. Now a single parent family is born.

Things really start going south now in all too many ways. Two things the parents should realize right away lest you do even more harm; 1) kids are not a possession, 2) kids are not ammunition for your personal use. Just because they make look like you, have your last name or came from your egg or sperm you do not own them. Pure and simple, get over it we do not own people, whoever they are! Oh yeah one other thing, kids are not there for your amusement or spy!

It is sickening when ex-partners (yeah be it spouses, domestic partners, or otherwise) turn to the kids to exert their control and power over their ex. Not only do the ex’s make the other suffer they also suffer the children at the same time. Simple things like taking charge of that it’s a life. Just to show there might buy doing things like changing their hair color, their clothing, etc.

Don’t try a power trip or control, to get what you want instead use some common sense and think about someone other than yourself in your grab for control and power. Think about the people you are hurting beyond just your ex. Think about the actions were taking and now for reaching they may be. The effect may be adverse and leave permanent scars.

Things I have learned

2010-06-12T18:54:00.000-05:00

Since having my stroke last year, I have learned a plethora of things! Some good, some not so good and others downright deplorable! The deplorable is one of my biggest pet peeves and it has to do with people, now not all people for sure but by and large sadly it seems the vast majority of people! Hey if this fits you and you take offense maybe you should also heed. Why are people so shocked when I say I am blind? Yeah well wake up, there are varying degrees of blindness, though I am not totally blind, I do have limitations, I am aware of them and I respect them. By definition, I am legally blind and as such 'act' much like a fully sighted 'regular' person. In a short time, I have learned to live within the limitations of my blindness, one you should be most thankful for is I don't drive!

There are a number of day to day tasks that I do undertake, one big one is that I shop. Even though I shop I do know and live within my limitations. Despite those limitations, I to date have yet to 'run over' or 'knock down' one of the selfish seeing patrons of the supermarket who does cross my path. Also, I have as of yet to 'knock down' one of the little brats you so lovingly call your child. Well if it is your child and you are so loving why in the hell don't you mind them better in the stores?

Not so long ago, I was in a 'famous' department store at the cosmetic counter purchasing some items. A rather common task for me at most any department or grocery store. On this particular trip, to make the purchase there were not less than five children around me acting like they were just set free from prison! What made it even more sad was that both the mum and dad were there too yet did nothing to control their children. Hell it did not even matter that this seeming 'normal' appearing blind man was there, the parents just ignored the ramblings of the children and went about their business. Perhaps I was left to presume I should do the same and ignore the wee people bumping into my knees and trying to topple me?

Ah but children will be children and I do love them and overlook their zeal for life and their curiosity. Their parents on the other hand should be tarred and feathered for letting their 'young 'ins' behave so rudely! One of the even 'better' things is to be in the local market and have adults acting like children instead of respectful grown ups. What the hell is it with people who zoom right in front of your basket with theirs seemingly oblivious to your presence and undoubtedly spoiling for the fight should you dare hit them or their basket!

Ha! Guess what? I have a license to hit you or your children, or your basket! I can't see! As of yet though, I have not and doubt I ever would 'hit' anyone though the thought is tempting sometime! Then why would I ever lower myself to your level? As for the kids, they are innocent, it is your fault that they run amok like they do. Teach them respect! And learn some yourself while at it! The world does not exist for you!

During the past year!!!

2010-06-09T17:21:00.000-05:00

36 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

3 have done time for assault

71   cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 currently are defendants in lawsuits,

And,
84 have been arrested for drunk driving

In the last year

Can
You guess which organization this is?

It ' s the 535 members of the
United States Congress

The same group that cranks out
Hundreds of new laws each year
Designed to keep the rest of us in line.

You
Gotta pass this one on!

On November 2nd, 2010 we need to replace all of them, 100%.

Customer Service?

2010-05-26T21:03:00.000-05:00

Can you remember when customer service meant something? When customer's used to be important to companies? There days companies seem to think they are in business to do us a favor rather than depending on us for their survival. This is not necessarily true for some businesses who seem to have values and commitments still. More it is the big companies that feel like we all them something - our business and servitude.

Nothing pissed me off like calling a company for service and the only service is on their terms, or do without! The cable companies are a prime example of this tactic. Call for service on their devices and services and they give you the date and times they can come 'visit' you for service. They often times give a four hour window of time on a certain day they can make a call? Wait a minute, I have a call from an employee, the will be in sometime tomorrow between 12 and 4. This is not going to last long. My customers and business can't run that way so how the hell am I supposed to run my life this way? Who pays me and my employer for the time I waste sitting at home for your service man to show up at my door?

No one is going to pay anyone for the lost time. So let's see, you sit at home for a service call provided your boss will give you time off from work and wait. You wait for the serviceman to come to make his repairs. This is all for the pleasure of paying their fees to enjoy their service, is it really worth it? Should not instead the company be catering to the customer who continues the service and pays the monthly fee to allow the cable company to stay in service? So you would think this is how it would work. No, the cable company knows you want the service so you are going to suffer the price to wait at their leisure!

Remember when companies used to give you their goods - t-shirt, hats, posters, whatever for free? What a great way to get 'free' advertising! Not now adays! No way, there is big money in selling these items to an all eager public to still do 'free advertising' for their company. We in general all too eager and willing to pay for their name across our chest. WTF? We are willing to pay someone to show our patronage and advertise for them for 'free.' What sense does this make? We increase their profits and they decrease our pocket books - isn't this exploitation of a sorts?

Aren't there organizations fighting against exploitation of some people? Ah yes, the few who make the most noise getting the grease (err money and legislation) for their cause. What about my cause? I am tired of unfair practices by companies that more worried about their bottom line at my expense and my family and friends. It will continue though because we are consumers, we buy things of little or no value just to say we are 'cool' and we support and endorse XYZ company.

When did testimonials become so unimportant to 'global' leaders? Now the testimonials are scripted in some back room and created with high paid 'stars' making exuberant salaries to drive up the price of the things you and I buy. Oh yeah, it all makes sense to me! Keep spending your money on stupid things, in stupid ways and drive their profit margin up! And their market share.

Information is power and Information can be about money too

2010-05-26T20:40:00.000-05:00

So many times I have heard this, and experience it - information is power. How better to win than have more information. Today though it is easier than ever to get information, the 'computer age' has mad it easier than ever! Probably the information that holds the biggest concern to you and I is, personal information and how it gets into the hands of 'others.'

Don't worry, just sit back and businesses will 'tell' other businesses about you! Many State Departments are inclined to sell your information to businesses, and for a tidy profit too! Businesses of all kinds are buying the information too, insurance companies, car dealers, attorneys, you name it. And the companies are targeting you too. At times, it seems almost they are fortune tellers, sending advertisements to your address, just when you need them most.

It isn't just State Agencies selling the information either, many private businesses do it as well, even the credit reporting agencies are selling your information when you meet the buyer's criteria!

Many private companies, have their hands in the 'cookie' jar of selling personal information too, Google, Yahoo, Facebook, Verizon and many more. While there are statues that govern the selling of information, many of them protect the buyers and sellers of the information and not actually the individual. Especially in regards to State Agencies, much of the information is 'public record' and otherwise accessible. Personally, I have a bit of a problem with some of the information available being public record and easily accessible by just about anyone!

Every time we sign up for a new social network many of the services are 'free' to us. We pay no subscription fee to enjoy the services but we pay in other ways. Why do you think SPAM is such a big issue? Think you are safe? Think again, there is a plethora of information 'floating' around about you! Anyone want to know.....?

Stand up and speak out, it is the only way you will ever know the peace and comfort, the change you desire.

Hey that's not me!

2010-05-20T10:53:00.000-05:00

With a common name like mine, I am constantly being mistaken for someone else. Although a nuisance it is also laughable. Often times costly though! It is funny to go to the doctor and learn about all the diseases the other guy had before they learn they have the wrong chart! Or to go the pharmacy and be mistaken, man they are not prescribing me the right medication sometimes, I want some of what he is getting!

There is the time I was almost arrested for being a 'cop killer,' fortunately I was the 'wrong' color! Everything else fit closely enough, we even had the same birthday! Then when I was getting my license renewed down in Texas, and just as I walking out the door, I heard someone call, "Mr. Johnson, I need to see you." It was a state trooper and he wanted to take me to the back. Oh brother what did I forget? The trooper was very polite and kind as I stood against the wall for height measurement, telling me all the time it was what he thought was a mistaken identity. After getting measured for height, I was invited to sit in the metal chair (with handcuffs on it!) while they checked a couple more things!

Fortunately, I had the wrong color hair, the wrong height and way too many tattoos from the guy being sought for outstanding warrants! The trooper apologized and let me go on my way! What a heart stopper!

Collection companies have 'tracked' me down in a bid to collect money! When finally I did talk to them, we both learned it was the wrong guy they spent all the time and money on to track down. I had never lived or went to school in Wisconsin!

Of course all the instances can't end in happy endings! The last time was also the most dramatic one!

Last year, I found a contract position that I was most interested in and seemed a perfect fit! Apparently the company did as well since I ended up there for their application process Everything was looking good and as I sat through a training class for indoctrination 'they' came to get me. Taking me out of the class, they proceeded to tell me, I had failed the background (criminal) investigation. Thinking to myself, "No Way." This was the part of the process I dreaded the least.

Of course I wanted to speak someone and find out what the hell was up. The Personnel Manager was nice and told me, I would be receiving a letter but not much more. So I returned home and awaited the letter which came a couple of days later. I had to laugh as I read the letter and the accompanying report. As I read the report, I had to think a 'thank you' to the Mr. Johnson's that had been screwing up my life for years! Still I wasn't mad at them, they just happened to have the same name and other stats. One had the same birthday and the other had an SSN (Social Security Number) that was one digit off from mine.

Oh I was pissed off though, more so at the company and whoever 'reviewed' the report. How the hell could they miss out that the persons named on the report looked nothing like me! One was black and the other blond haired and blue eyed! I was livid! How the hell could the company miss such important details, especially after they came courting me for the position!

Of course, I went through all the red tape and procedure 'required' to remove the errant entries on my criminal background but it did nothing to help me regain the lost income, nor did it do anything to correct other errant information with other reporting agencies. Come on why the hell do I have a 'unique' SS Number? Isn't this supposed to 'protect' me from such bs?

This is what we are lettng it come to?

2010-05-20T09:10:00.000-05:00

Slowly, bit by bit it is happening and often times without the thought of many people, many don't see it, many choose to think it could never happen, and others think it will not happen in their lifetime. LOL What comes today will have an impact on life as we know it and on into the future.

In the small town I live in, up and down Main Street there are signs prohibiting cruising (at least the signs define what it is so everyone knows). Often times I get into conversation with my mother about it, after all it was my mother and father who tell me all the tales of cruising in the days of yore here. Now a days, I chide my mother's generation, the very ones who 'started' cruising for banning it and depriving the generations after it. So just remember your children and grand children will suffer the decisions you make now, the things you allow to occur.

Government intervention into our lives is rampant these days and I am often left to wonder if the intervention is meant to help us or control us! Personally, I think it is a bunch of malarkey and a cleverly planned marketing program to 'put us' where they want us, and sometimes it is just plain BS with the potential to make a buck. Of course in the long run, it will give government and politicians, more of a chance to control all the 'gold.'

Just how far should government go in affecting our lives? Look at this, Women Protest 'Veil Ban" So there first thing I think about when I read this, it is the women protesting. Not the guys who supposedly 'make' them wear the veils, so who is this supposed to protect? To me, it sounds like another way to inflict control and potentially raide revenue. Supposedly the ban is meant to protect women from men, who force them to wear the veil. So why instead does it have to be a ban? Instead why isn't the law written to protect the women from men who chose to 'control' them? It would seem first, the women knew largely what they were getting in to, have a sense of pride in some respects by following the established customs of their religion or 'people.' The country new the 'traditions' before letting people into the country. Whether I agree or not, women or anyone else should wear veils, I respect their decision to do so. Hell, what will you do when the 'banned' women rise up and oppose wedding veils?

Of course, the 'controls' being put into place by the government do not start or stop here, there are countless ways. How much do say do you want someone else to say about your life? The Salt Control is coming this year in the US. The Food and Drug administration will begin 'controlling' how much salt can be applied to foods. No it isn't the administration's intent to come in your home (yet!) to dictate how much salt you can use but instead to put into place how much salt food producers can put into manufactured food.

So some in some aspects this 'sounds' good. Maybe you won't have to be responsible for your own laziness or lack of self control to put the bag of chips down to keep your 'salt' intake down. And maybe now you won't have to worry about your kids consuming so much of the 'bad' stuff. Personally, I see it as bs! Lets spend the money on education for self control and awareness of what is not taught at home. Salt, especially normal table salts is one of the worst 'poisons' you can take into your body! Instead of 'no' salt, why doesn't the Administration instead impose sanctions on what kind of salt can be added to food? While they are at it, why don't they prohibit the addition of the thousands of 'approved' food additives that are harmful?

Why not instead of 'attacking' the tobacco companies, make them straighten up their acts! It would make me feel good to see the same 'attacks' occur on the alcohol companies. I have seen far worse damages done by people who drink than people who smoke! When was the last time you were hit by a 'smoking driver?' Hell, the president still smokes! Of course he can probably afford to! I wonder is he is sending Secret Service agents to the corner market for him in the middle of the night? What if he dropped a lit cigarette in his lap and uttered the wrong words at the wrong time, or made the wrong move?

Change is coming just make sure it is the change that you want in your life before you buy in to it and accept it!

Almost? Maybe?

2010-05-19T15:57:00.000-05:00

The oil spill has now been going on for just shy of a month now and it will be months probably before it stops. Still the oil continues to 'spew' to the toll of an estimated 210,000 gallons to 4.2 million gallons a day ( a barrel equals 42 US gallons). It won't be for a few more days until the next attempt to stop the oil spill occurs. A couple of different procedures are in line to be tried. One is comprised of shooting 'heavy mud," the top kill method, into the well to stop the flow of oil. If the "top kill" fails, they will try the "junk shot." This entails shoot knotted rope, pieces of tires and golf balls into the blowout preventer (Man is that a misnomer! I hope they at least castrated the guy(s) who invented that apparatus).

So now they are planning to use one or possibly both of these methods, with the hope it 'might' stop the blow out. WTF? Has anyone considered the out come of using these methods and what further damage can be done from it? Regardless of what works, it may be months before the spill is stopped. At what cost? Tar balls washing ashore in Florida, were said not to be coming from the oil spill in the Gulf. What the hell? They can't stop it, how do they know where the tar balls are coming from? They are now analyzing currents and tides to determine where the oil spill might reach. Let me take a wild guess here, the oil spill is going to end up wherever the hell Mother Nature wants for it too! Any takers on that one?

Another thing that is really chapping my butt about this, government sanctions are now being called for to prevent similar accidents in the future. When I was responsible for developing procedures, or reviewing processes there had to be a 'fall back' procedure, first to recover from an accident (sustain business) and prevent waste (a spill)? Why the hell isn't the industry implementing their own controls, first to protect OUR earth and secondly their profits? Oh yeah the government can collect more money (fines).

It is rather ironic that this spill is being called the "Obama Spill," which is kind of funny but has some 'officials' calling it "inflammatory. "I think it's inflammatory to call it the Obama oil spill, and wrong," Oberstar said. Come on now, isn't Obama who approved deep ocean drilling continuing the policy of his predecessor? In my mind, you do not approve something before you fully understand the implications and possibilities, not after wards!

Some say the spill could have been contained faster, if the Coast Guard and other agencies had better plans. Why wasn't this planned for before it occurred? Ah yes, we make the profit and react when a situation occurs. What a plan!

Kevin Today: The Things We Do To Our Mother

2010-05-18T20:22:00.000-05:00

Kevin Today: The Things We Do To Our Mother

Career Politicians

2010-05-18T16:25:00.001-05:00

It just blows my mind that we have elected 'officials' that have been in office since I was in junior high, since many people were even born. Having politicians as old as my great grandparents is like grandparents raising their grand kids, it is nice and sweet and seems like a good idea, but in the long run, the kids miss out! There is that generation gap thing going on - a different way of thinking.

After all we have term limits for the president and others, not that they can't screw things up in four years, or eight if re-elected, why should 'lesser' positions be given more of a chance? Power breeds corruption. People need to bear this in mind when considering political candidates. One of the big things, just like listening, someone has to hear as well. When speaking the person speaking has to believe it not just say it. Too often it appears that the things we say fall on deaf ears.

You know I totally believe and agree that membership has its benefits, but at the same time it should have its limits too! Why are members of Congress, allowed to participate in 'insider' trading and you and I would go to jail for it? There are countless episodes where elected officials have believed themselves to be above the law, it is sickening.

How often and how many takes 'stands' behind party loyalty? This is too easy a cop out and used far too frequently! The parties have dissolved so greatly that to stand back and look at them is almost like looking at one. It is not a happy marriage though, but instead an illusion to keep us at bay and their agenda seemingly just. Look though at how the political machine behaves, it won't be long before the two parties merge into one, if we allow it. We, as a society are stuck on branding and classifying, for our own security.

We all want change, hell is that not what the last election was founded upon? Sadly though we look for change in the wrong places and seemingly gladly accept whatever is dealt to us, just thankful for the change (movement) even if in the wrong direction! It saddens me greatly to stand in line at the grocery store, or to sit in the restaurant and hear others bitch to their family and friends, yet remain silent when it really matters. When finally others take action and decide to voice their opinions, the fight will be longer and harder.

Don't bitch if you don't work to elicit the change you want. Don't be misled to think that voting alone will bring it.

Politically Correct

2010-05-18T12:20:00.000-05:00

What the hell is this? Since when did I need a 'tick' to tell me how to speak and how to speak correctly? By the way I am waiting on a copy of the dictionary. In actuality, I am sick and tired of the term and someone else telling me how I should speak! Two things I grew up with, the Golden Rule and the knowledge I had better have enough 'lead' in my ass to back up anything I said or wrote!

For the most part, I am respectful of others. You are either a Lady or a Gentleman, not a Gentle Person. That is something we should all be, a gentle person. I want to know if I am going to be fishing with a fisherman or a fisher woman. How the hell else do I know whether to bring beer or wine?

It seems to me that being told how and what to say is just a wee bit controlling and in violation of the First Amendment here in the States. Not to mention the vast amount of money getting this 'term' publicized enough to get it to take hold. Come on, how much money and effort could have been saved by enforcing the Golden Rule and common sense? To think it would have been so far reaching and not near so complicated!

Magic Pills

2010-05-18T10:25:00.001-05:00

Just about everyone wants to lose weight, or at least a good portion of us or so it would seem. According to Newsweek, the annually approximately 40 Billion Dollars is spent on the diet industry. The ads are everywhere and you can hardly miss them; TV, the Internet, Billboards, Magazines, ect. Just about any source of advertising you can find ads for diets.

Diet plans remind me of a time I went to the doctor and we were discussing a health concern. His response was something like this, what do you want? To give up the habit and miss out completely, or do you want to continue to enjoy it by taking this (magic) pill that takes it all away? I thought to myself, "Hell Yeah," I am all about magic pills especially those that deliver, the quick and easy way to atone for my weaknesses!

In the end, the pill did not work the magic intended on me, so I was left to seek out more effective methods that would work for me. Countless 'magic pills' and processes did not have the desired result. They were all temporary, if they had any desired affect at all but almost always leaving me disappointed. My disappointment remained with me as I read and heard of more 'magic pills' that always fell short of meeting their mark and intended result.

Then quite mysteriously I discovered the 'true' cure - it was in me! Hard to believe but when I took control of how and what I was consuming things started to change! Yes, it was within my power to change things to be what I wanted. I did not have to give others my faith or my money to know the change I desired! The amazing thing other than my discovery was that it was better for me than most anything being marketed to me, plus I saved some hard earned fun coupons.

Be in control and take charge! Stop throwing away your dollars and putting your faith in someone who wants those dollars. Take charge of your own life and stop putting it into the hands of others who only seek to make a profit!

For years to come

2010-05-18T08:18:00.000-05:00

It is saddening to me to hear of a natural disaster any where in the world, of the damage done and the lives lost. In some way these events touch the lives of everyone whether they realize it or not. Even more heart wrenching and confusing is when one of the disasters is related to the efforts of man. Often times I wonder how much will the human race stand for before they say enough. Rather than boycott and prohibit negative behavior, we see content to 'slap' a company on the wrist, accept their money for the fines (bribes) they pay and await the next catastrophic event caused by our greed.

Yes, I am talking about the recent Gulf of Mexico, oil spill from a BP operation. It does not matter the 'recovery' efforts that are put into place, the damage is done. The damage and killing of wildlife and coast lands has all ready occurred before the first 'recovery' operation was launched. Really though how many people consider nature? How many people are looking beyond the lost oil, the lost business and the cost of oil of a result of this tragedy.

While I have no pity for the oil company, they should pay again (yes BP oil has an extensive record of causing damage to our world). The company will continue its exploration and drilling, amassing it's exuberant profits despite this disaster. The consequences to them are minimal in the big picture, they will pay some fines, other restitution and say we're sorry. To the rest of the world, we will pay for the mistakes and greed over and over in many ways for years to come and mostly bitch about the cost or shortage of oil.

If we do not wake up and stop depending on others to look out for our best interest, we will pay the ultimate sacrifice.

Companies like BP, are not help truly accountable for their mistakes, the consequences add up to dollars instead of true consequences such as closure. Such companies do not lead by example to ensure and maintain our lives but instead their example is of the benefits of profit and greed. We do not live in an infinite world, there is an end to all things and we should be forcing companies to operate as such, not by continuing to support them as they suck the resources, the life from our planet, our home. We should all be looking to the future and measuring its success not by the size of our bank account or the number of our possessions, instead by the actions we perform and the life we leave behind for others.

If we do not wake up and take action, rather than being led down the primrose path in our rose colored glasses,

Why do I Blog?

2010-05-16T01:07:00.000-05:00

Some one asked me about why I blog. "My" blog has changed immensely from what it is today from what it was originally intended that's for sure! As well my idea of blogging has changed immensely too. The original thought behind keeping the blog was to keep family and friends, as well as anyone else interested 'up' to date on what is going on with me. Ha! that did not last long and the interest was pretty well lacking!

So 'my' blog morphed a bit and I began to write about a more varied number of things. Sometimes I will write and re-write something numerous times before I post it and my 'box' is full of half-finished articles for me to return to. Sometimes the 'technical' side of me comes out in something I am writing and it begins to sound all technical, filled with facts and figures. These things can be found in numerous places and I don't want to quote, copy or possibly give out false information. So instead I write largely and mostly of the things I feel and experience. Though I am not great person with all the answers to an issue, my hope is to inspire thought in others, to think!

Apparently the articles do invoke thought, at least I hear about it on an almost daily basis from those who do find their way to the blog. Sometimes the things I write of are happy and sometimes sad, occasionally informational, thought provoking and some times silly. The things I write are often times inspired by you and sometimes they are 'about' you. Sometimes, often times about me and my feelings and my life. Sometimes I laugh, smile, cry and get angry while writing but that should come as no surprise! It is not my intent to make any mad or angry but sometimes, or from what I 'hear' the writing can touch me and others so how could it not provoke feelings of emotion? In some way I hope that the stories help someone and do not ever cause 'harm.'

Each of of us has a 'story' to tell, this is called wisdom and experience. Sadly though all too often enough stories are not told and even more sad, sometimes when they are the words of the stories fall on deaf ears. Though I am not the wisest or most experienced, I have lied some years and I have tried and still do try to pay attention, both to my experiences and those of others. Be it a blessing or a curse, I have, o at least I feel I have the ability to convey these things in these words to share with others.

Think and don't forget to breath.

I propose something new

2010-05-13T17:42:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is time for a change because I can see it has only gotten worse since my time in the computer world. Something has to be done to stop the proliferation of spam, fishing programs, BOTS, Trojans, Viruses, etc. It seems both myself and virtually anyone who uses a computer suffers from increasing attack from the guilty parties. My arsenal is large and powerful against their attacks yet they keep coming, learning of new vulnerabilities and weaknesses. After numerous 'assurances' that this program would 'stop' that I still continue to amass my fortune through all the bogus lotteries I've won, my stock options and companies amassed are immense though none are in my name since I refuses to submit, and there are so many beautiful and wonderful women around the world who are in love with me and want to send me pictures as soon as I email them!

Really thought the security companies continue to get richer as each of us sign on and subscribe to their continuously updated software packages meant to innoculate us from potential viruses, erase all traces of spyware and adware from our machines. No matter how much time, energy and money we throw at it the onslaught continues and the inconveniences and threats of danger occur.

The time is now for change, a new strategy to protect us and decrease our investment of time and money. A deployment of new strategies and new energies must be deployed to protect us! My proposal is this, make those who have the the most to gain and loss in the battle. Yes instead of fining and jailing the perpetrators let us change our strategies to the vendors and developers who enable 'the bad' guys to reek their havoc.

These companies and individuals want to make a profit, that is great and they should but not at the expense or exploitation of others. Pay to enjoy the profit and take ownership that without them there would not be a profit. Take responsibility and stop looking to regulatory agencies to do the policing for their profit. If there are problems caused by your product or service, you should be responsible for cleaning up the problem.

My suggestion is this, every time there is exploitation by a spammer, a trojan, a virus or what ever, levy the fine and or prison sentence against the manufacturer of the product or service.

Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am

2010-05-13T03:42:00.012-05:00

Recently a friend asked me what sex meant to me and I thought about it for a bit and the title of this subject came to mind. Once I may have had that attitude but no more, though I know many people who do. There is a big difference between sex and making love, unfortunately many people equate the physical act of sex to the emotion of love and showing it, sharing it with another.

So many things going on with the body and mind at once! The sensations, the joy, the happiness, the release of endorphins in the brain. We 'all' want it and we want it now! Ah yes, the immediate satisfaction that is derived by 'getting our jollies.' Really though, what are you wanting quality or quantity? How many times and how much time are we willing to expend, rather than spending the same on quality? For a large part though, it seems that quality is elusive with everyone largely looking out for themselves and their own satisfaction. Point One, why people so often take quality over quantity? There are too many selfish people? Maybe they are in too big of a hurry to 'return' what they 'receive?'

Take your time to learn and explore. What the hell! Why did we spend so many hours in 'sex education' and so few people know much more than how babies are made, if that! Sometimes is seems that people forget even that! Open your minds and hearts a little before you open your legs or take the plunge and get to know the person you want to get in the sack, or think you do. I f getting to know yourself and your partner what is all the uproar about tantric sex?

Is it that instant gratification is so important? Do we need it write now and then maybe have some regrets later, or just push it out of our minds? Come on think before you act. If you need it right now and don't have a partner, pull out your toys or pull it with you hand! Think quality, not quantity!

You know as wonderful as sex is, there can be a downsize to it. Call them consequences or whatever but it can literally screw you sometimes! So many times I have heard from both sexes, 'man, if I can only get them in bed with me, then they will love me.' This comes from guys and girls!

Hello, wake the hell up and smell the coffee, I have never heard of anyone that good and if there is, I want to meet them! Hell maybe they can answer some questions or give me some tips. Of course making you love them is only thing. People get PREGNANT from sex or did you skip class that day? Thia goes both ways too! Women trying to 'catch' the guy with a baby. Or guys thinking that if they get a girl pregnant no one else will want her. WTF, people are willing to screw up the lives of not only two people but even worse a third, innocent life? All for their stupidity? My thought is they should never have sex again! I won't even mention the fiscal ills!

Quality not quantity! People are just stupid about sex! Years ago, I was on a ship and we made a port-a-call. For 'weeks' before we hit shore we were told to 'be careful.' There were diseases that scared the hell out of penicillin, in fact there was no cure for some of them. My ship-mate was getting out in six weeks and going home - to his wife and kids. He was with not only one, but two 'working' girls that night! How the hell could he being so close to going home, risking taking something home to his 'innocent' wife? And risk his life? Sorry, I have yet to meet anyone that was worth all that! These days, if you are found out to have an STD, AIDS, the hospital and health department, they want a list. The list of being everyone you ever had sex with. Then 'they' want you to make contact and 'tell on yourself.' Now for me, it would be tough to talk to some of the people (women) in my past, little alone some I had 'been' with to tell them, I was infected. Hell, with some of them it might mean facing their parents too!

Ah yes, the time I did a 'rape' investigation where this guy met a woman in a bar and they ended up on the hood of his car. (exhibitionism?) Well the 'girl' called foul and said it was rape, or at least she told the cops and her husband. Hello, the 'suspect' went to jail, had to call his parents (his mom) to tell them he was arrested for rape! Something I am sure we all want to tell our mothers.

Somehow it didn't all add up so an investigation was launched and all hell broke loose. The woman who was supposedly rape confessed, it was all bs. Just a story she fabricated to tell her husband, so she wouldn't have to explain why she was so late from girl's night out! Yes, she was screwed and divorced too!

All the quantity she can get! While in California, I had the opportunity of meeting a woman who was recently divorced. During the course of our first 'date' she wanted to take me home and add another notch to her head board. During the course of conversation I learned that her goal was to 'have' as many men as she could to make up for all the years of 'bad sex' while she was married! Now why the hell would someone stay married if sex was so important and so bad? Well, I knew two things; she wasn't getting me in bed that night or ever and two she was never going to get enough to forget the bad!

The horror stories are countless, with many more and many I don't know! I could share but would it really matter - sex has a tendency of making people stupid. So what do you want? Quality or quantity? As for me, I am holding out for quality and the real deal.

National Stroke Awareness Month

2010-05-11T04:55:00.000-05:00

Undoubtedly a stroke can rock your world, in a bad way and for most people the term stroke in relation to them does not even occur. There are seemingly any number of mysteries shrouding strokes, with no two being the same, both in the symptoms and the recovery process.

Since my stoke, I have done countless hours researching strokes along with potentially every imaginable cause, solution and prevention. From my laymen terms, it seem like just about anything can cause a stroke, including too much or too little sleep. Largely in the past, I have scoffed at going to the doctor finding them to generally be a waste of time. Who knows my body better than me? The body is an intricate 'machine' with numerous moving parts and working systems. Even if you choose an alternate treatment program to a disease or problem a doctor can help you in identifying the problems and diseases early.

A stroke is a brain injury, a TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY, which can bring with it innumerable side affects and conditions. Do what you can to educate yourself, find out potential underlying problems and take action. The investment of time in the forefront can save you a lot of hassle and lost enjoyment in the future. As funny as it sounds, I was lucky with the outcome of my stroke, I can still walk, talk and think, not everyone can.

A special thanks to my friend Connie, out in California, knowing of my stroke and learning of the national awareness month, went and set up a raffle for a gift basket with the proceeds to go to National Stroke Association. Thanks for her help and efforts in helping!

Stroke Warning Signs

Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body
Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
Sudden, severe headache with no known cause

STROKE STATISTICS

Stroke is the 3rd leading cause of death in the U.S.
More than 143,579 people die iin U.S. from stroke
Stroke is the leading cause of long term disability in the U.S.
Each year, about 795,000 people suffer a stroke. About 600,000 of these are first attacks, and 185,000 are recurrent attacks.
Nearly three-quarters of all strokes occur in people over the age of 65. The risk of having a stroke more than doubles each decade after the age of 55.
Strokes can—and do—occur at ANY age. Nearly one quarter of strokes occur in people under the age of 65
Stroke death rates are higher for African Americans than for whites, even at younger ages.
Among adults age 20 and older, the prevalence of stroke in 2005 was 6,500,000 (about 2,600,000 males and 3,900,000 females).
On average, every 40 seconds someone in the United States has a stroke.

STROKE PREVENTION

Know your Blood Pressure
Find out if you have atrial fibrallation.
If you smoke, stop
Drink alcohol in moderation
Find out if you have high choleterol
Find out if you are diabetic
Exercise
Enjoy a low sodium diet
Check to see if you have circulation problems

The Perfect Food

2010-05-10T01:41:00.000-05:00

Really you have to consider this 'food' to be the perfect food despite its origins and your preference. Of course I am talking about pizza. All ready I can hear groans of disapproval but I must continue on. This is the perfect food for a number of reasons despite the fact, if it is good, it is hard to eat while you drive.

First and foremost, pizza is the perfect food since it contains all the food groups in one dish. You have your crust or your bread, the tomato sauce which may be classified as either a vegetable or fruit depending, the dairy layer consisting of the cheese and the top layer, or the meat. If you are on a special diet or don't particularly care for a certain part you can just leave it off the pizza, except for of course the bread. Really though doesn't bread go with every meal for most people? And who doesn't like cold pizza for breakfast?

Other things that make pizza the perfect food, they deliver it! How many burger joints deliver their fare to your door? Very few I bet! And this can be said of virtually any other fair you wish to talk about. Maybe this is because was sold in the streets on the days of old. Another plus, unless you are like me and eat pizza, usually, with a knife and fork, you do not require any eating utensils or plates. Pizza has to be one of the most versatile foods there is, you can put essentially any topping you choose and in some place choose different types of crust and how the pizza is made.

Pizza the perfect food!

Greeting Card Holidays and Engagement Rings

2010-05-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

The year has progressed (rather quickly) and once again Mother's Day, is on our heels and will soon be here. A sure sign spring is here (or should be) and then on to summer and Father's Day, shortly thereafter. The particular holidays are commonly referred to, at least by me, to be "Greeting Card Holidays" and are complete rubbish! While their origin might have been good and serve a purpose, I am more apt to believe the holidays were contrived in a 'think tank' somewhere with the sole purpose of sounding good while driving up revenue for the greeting card companies and all associated.

Now before you go thinking ill of me and calling me names, I am far from it and honor Mothers and all the other things these holidays are meant to celebrate. Personally though, I believe the honor your spread around special on these days should be exhibited daily, while the hell should have to be reminded of 'the special day' to take action? IMHO, the love, gratitude and feelings meant to be expelled to our loved ones should be shown on a daily basis, at least as often as we can without reminder or contributing to profit of some company. Hell, really show you care and make your own card(s)!

So instead of waiting for that 'special occasion' do something nice and special today.

I wish I had introduced myself but

2010-05-05T17:55:00.000-05:00

No, it was not to a female, though there may have been occasion when I felt like kicking myself later. The introduction I speak of now, is to my neighbor. For six years, I lived in the same house and never once did more than nod my head at them! Chances are, you are just as guilty as I am about this. It is a shame that people are too busy (insert just about any excuse you want to here - I have) to introduce themselves to their neighbors anymore

It seems that are many organizations whose goal it is to get neighbors out on the streets, but I wonder how successful they truly are. Have you ever seen attendance at an HOA (Home Owner's Association) meeting? Group dynamics are hard however you go about it, place, time, agenda, or otherwise. We are all just too busy, or don't want to get involved, so we leave things up to others to take care of (and hopefully they will).

Albeit slowly, the tides seem to be turning somewhat as people are increasingly getting fed up with the way things and either joining in with their neighborhood groups, or forming new ones. You know, a neighborhood watch group can be as simple as getting to know your neighbors and agreeing to 'keep on eye' on things. We all know it is impossible to see everything 24/7, even with a video camera. Though there are those who will tell you how beneficial and necessary they are to keep crime down. We have to learn to depend and trust others again (our neighbors, friends and family) and stop depending on others and paying others for own responsibilities!

By becoming so active with a myriad of activities we are to busy to be active (and take action) in our own communities. Hell, the latest episode is much more important than getting out and doing some yard work, or taking a walk around the neighborhood (community). When you get to know and recognize your neighbors, you know who is 'supposed' to be there and who isn't. By taking control and regaining control of your neighborhood (community) effectively you lessen the community's dependence on local "peace keepers" (the police) and reduce effectively the tax burden! We don't need more cops, we need to be more actively involved.

The Advent of Technology

2010-05-05T10:28:00.000-05:00

One thing I always say, 'Technology is great, as long as it works.' Over the past thirty years I have been actively involved in the technology field as a computer engineer and watching the technological advances has been amazing! In almost every market the advances, especially in technology, have been monumental. They have made lives and profit so much longer (larger), easier (less work) and enjoyable and a whole lot more. With every upside though there is a downside, and unfortunately we do not always look at or consider the downside of things. No as a civilization, as a whole, we are looking for the 'biggest bang for our buck.' While many 'people' are just looking for big bangs with more bucks!

Too often in society all we are looking for is a solution, an answer. Far too often we accept solutions and answers without considerations or thought of the consequences or the outcome, until we realize we have to atone for our wrongs, or at least try. For years, many of lived with the luxury of the petrochemical boom and now we pay the price, and still we bitch about it. Look at cell phones and the potential for health issues but the cell phone technology continues to grow. Microwaves, medicine, energy, virtually every field can brag about the advances and changes they have made to increase our productivity.

Answers and solutions, are fine and well, all needed for the change required of the world and society. Looking around I see so much of the aftermath of quick fixes and have to wonder what will occur with the ones put into place today? The windmill farms, the banks of solar panels, the dumping of chemicals into the ocean to 'correct' our mistake for an an oil well 'leak.' What will the outcome, the consequences of these things be; to our planet now, in the short term and in long term when we are gone? Just look at all the ghost towns of recent years! Built by our ancestors, the hulks now remain for us. Who is responsible for the cleanup? The waste disposal? The explanation to people? Who profited from it all?

Quick solutions do not equate instant solutions. Often time though more expense, more waste and more loss.

The Things We Do To Our Mother

2010-05-04T19:18:00.000-05:00

The 'mother' I am talking about is one that each and everyone of shares, it is Mother Earth, and we are doing terrible things to Her. Not everyone is responsible but bets are everyone of us is at least indirectly responsible. While I could list any number of ills, we have caused her, in this case I am talking very specifically about a big problem. A very Big problem, twice the size of the continental United States! It is a 'new' island called the Plastic Island, and it is floating in OUR ocean between from Hawaii to Japan.

What is being touted as the earth's largest garbage dump, extends from about 500 miles off the coast of California, past Hawaii and on towards Japan. The 'plastic soup' as it is often referred is held in place by swirling underwater currents. It is estimated the flotsam weighs approximately 100 million tons and is comprised of debris, such as crates, chemicals and plastic. Most of the plastic the size of pencil erasers due to the decomposition of larger plastic items. Very 'human' waste has also been found such as disposable diapers and water bottles with most of the debris coming from passing ships and oil well rigs.

You know I often wondered where all the trash we dumped over the side of the ship would end up! The idea, or concept belayed was that it would float to the bottom of the ocean and 'disappear.' Being young and foolish as the time, I didn't give it a second thought, until just a few years ago. Since the 'island' is dependent on currents, the currents sometime head towards land masses and 'burp' resulting in a coating of debris on the land mass. How nice to think about going for a vacation and seeing this. Worse yet, walking on the beach and absorbing it into the body!

We all need to be good stewards of the earth, the home provided to us and ensure that is it kept 'pure' and not made into a giant refuge dump. So next time you think about buying some convenience, think about the packaging it comes in and where it is going to end up and how long it takes to decompose.

I have a secret to share with you

2010-05-03T09:46:00.000-05:00

Okay maybe it is only a secret if you have not heard this before.....we are all going to die! Despite the thoughts of some who know me, I am not predicting the future again, merely stating a fact. Sadly this a reality no matter how hard we try to outsmart it all, no matter how much plastic surgery we have nor how much money or power, or toys in our house or garage. Another thing, no matter what we acquire in this life it doesn't mean beans afterward. No matter what we do, no matter who we listen to our number will be up someday.

Yes, I once became disillusioned by the illusion and nearly let it get the best of me, in some ways maybe it did get the best. My quest to 'climb the ladder," to capture fortune and power became almost consuming of me. The thing about it, I was almost willing to take anyone down on my way up. Not realizing it at the time, I lost a lot, of me and the people dear to me. The more I had, the more I wanted.

The things that people strive for almost their whole life and often times never achieve, I did. A job of power, a six digit figure and all the toys and possessions a person could want. Even with it all, I did not seem satisfied, it felt as if something was missing with it all. Though life felt complete according to society, I had 'made' it to the top and only had up to go from there. The climb up was not without its price and its sacrifices though. At the time it all seemed worth it but in the end and now, I feel as if I wasted a lot of my life pursuing the wrong things.

At the time, I was in a position that I was good at, respected in and admired by some. Even with all that I had, I was told there was more to be had and I wanted it. The further I went and the more I earned and learned, it seemed the more I wanted, and needed to be happy, or I thought.

Every two weeks when it was pay day, I all ready had planned on what new toys to buy or clothes to add to my collection. Yes, I was a great consumer and had every credit card imaginable to prove it! That a closet full of clothes with designer and name brand labels. Man, I thought I was on top of the world and never coming down. It was necessary for me to acquire, to show off my success! My closets, my house, and my garage were full so surely my life must be as well.

86400 Seconds

2010-04-25T19:02:00.000-05:00

This equates to 1440 minutes. These measure compose the length of time in a day. While we all know that there is not enough time in the day, or our lives there is no way (that I have heard of but if someone wants to share) on how to make more time in the day. Now, I as many people have wanted to or other people have wanted to clone myself. That is until they figured out they couldn't afford me as it was. Personally, I would hate to think of two me (and some of you) running lose in the world, despite the benefits.

Since there is no way that I know of, still waiting to learn, to make more time about the only thing we can do as everyone knows it make better use of the time we have. IMHO one of the easiest things we can do is to quit trying to force our will or desires to make things happen! For the longest time, I did not realize this and tried to force everything into the way that I wanted it when I wanted it. Now this is not to mean that a person should just sit back and do nothing, waiting on things to happen. You have to make you desires known, clearly and distinctly.

The success of the world, or as the world defines it, is not truly success but an even bigger illusion. Success is an internal thing, how and what you judge it to be. Do not waste your life chasing pursuits and dreams for someone else that will only serve to leave you open, wondering and wanting in the end. Do not give in to the dreams of others but follow your own.

Mystical

2010-04-23T10:52:00.000-05:00

Life has been good to me, in many ways I have lived a full life that most people can only imagine. On more than one occasion I have been called mysterious. Of course I am, I am a Scorpio, aren't we supposed to be mystical creatures? It is safe to say that I have never followed the norm. Often taking the path less traveled, and on occasion blazing a path where no one has been.

At times, I view it as a curse and other times it is a blessing. One of the things that I have always been curious about is the mysteries of life and how to live life. For this reason, I have exposed myself to practically every common religion known and some probably not so common. At times, I have given thoughts to converting to a few because they most closely align with my thoughts and beliefs. Through it all and over the years, I never accepted one religion as my own and have many times been 'accused' of practicing "Kevinology." Now I must admit in my egotistical ways, I kind of like the sound of that but it is not what I am about, more so as time goes on.

Rather it be because people know me, or come to know me, I get in a lot of 'religion' based conversations or have a lot of questions asked of me. While I am no expert on this topic by any means I feel that I can hold my own. Also, through the questions and conversations I learn a lot sometimes.

Through all my experiences, it seems that most (all?) religions speak of the same basic thing. To 'get' to the Creator, (God, Alllah, Buddha, etc), whatever name you are comfortable with. The 'means' for getting 'home' are largely the same as well regardless of the preferred religion. Live a good life. Though the meaning of that may differ from one religion to the other. Essentially the message is the same from religion to religion, love, peace, tranquility, compassion and charity. Live your life good so that in the end you meet you 'maker.' Sister Theresa, once said something along the lines of, we are all striving to reach the same mountain top, we are just taking different paths. I pray and hope that you find your path.

Increasingly it seems that I encounter those who have questions. Some of these people seem to be questioning different dogmas, laws and rules. The greatest wealth I have to offer is let your faith be your religion, not you faith your religion. What do you believe? The mount (goal) is basically the same in the end, live your life right, remember and practice the Golden Rue. This is so simple but can be made so complicated, Love as you want to be Loved, do not attempt to take advantage of others, be diligent, be conscious of the things you do and the affect they have on others, now and in the future.

Computer Technology

2010-04-20T17:39:00.000-05:00

The world of computers, hardware and software can be baffling especially if you aren't a 'techie geek.' I have been in IT (and everything it has morphed from) since 1979. Sometimes I feel like the mechanic in the neighborhood and have probably been asked many of the same questions time and again. There are so many parts, so many questions most people don't know where to start or the tools that are available to them. Hopefully I can help out some here and provide some answers to your burning questions. If I am not answering your question, send it to me and I'll do my best to answer it.

Time Passes

2010-04-20T15:05:00.002-05:00

She sits lounging peacefully in her chair,
Lost in the memories of her little boy,
When he came home so small, so little hair,
She smiles with the thought of his first toy.
\Once so small, now past her shoulder,
The years have gone by so quick,
Now so big he feels he could move a boulder,
Still sometimes she feels he needs a good kick.
\As time passes fears turn to tears,
As experience she feared he has come to know,
Down her face slides a single tear from her continuing fears,
For her concern continues and her love will always grow.
\Always she fought to teach him right from wrong,
To provide the love and care that were his needs,
His time to move on would come before long,
To learn, to grow, to continue sowing his seeds.

A new section?

2010-04-20T14:52:00.000-05:00

It seems that more and more people have and interest in these topics along with the word green. Now the color green was never one of my favorite colors but the new meaning of the word is right up my alley. Maybe I'll start a "Green Section" but for now this section of the blog is for natural and holistic remedies. This is something that has meant something to me for the past several years and the more I 'live' it the happier I am with the outcome. Even if you do not subscribe to natural and organic, you can improve your health just reading and understanding the labels of the food that you buy!

It is important to take charge of your health (even more important to me these days) and be aware of what you and others say is okay with your body. There is a lot of danger lurking 'out there' and tons of 'people' telling you how safe and good it is for you. To that I laugh and seek to share what I know and find for you to digest for your personal use and to share with others as you see fit! As always any information you find here is for information and education only. It is not an endorsement (unless I state otherwise) and it is not be taken as professional advice. Always consult the professionals before you ingest something or change your lifestyle. In other words, I won't be and can't be responsible if you hurt yourself after reading anything on the 'site.'

2010-04-20T13:02:00.002-05:00

Okay, I realize I need to change my eating habits, as we all do, but at this point I am ready to break out for a meal. What I wouldn’t do for my own kitchen! Each passing day though confirms in my mind that this place is akin to life on the aircraft carrier! The age group has changed a little, as have the sounds you hear down the halls at night but you put a group of people in a confined space and they lose all judgment about how to act and treat other people! It is my good fortune to be ‘tucked’ in a room at the end of the hall where it is relatively quiet.

Today was kind of novel for me, out of the blue a social worker showed up to meet with me. While I new I needed an assessment, I didn’t know when or how. Well today was the when and here was the how. One of the questions I was asked is what I need to which I replied a JOB! Within a matter of minutes after I the social worker left, she was calling me back with information for a JOB. Of course I am trying not to be excited until the ‘ink dries on the paper” but it hard not to be!

One of the hardest things about this type of illness, or probably any catastrophic illness, compounded by the ‘seclusion’ a place like this is at some point the patient will probably undergo some type of depression. Whew did I a couple of months back. I must have thought of everything imaginable to ‘no longer be a burden or uncertain.’ Today though, there seems to be a glimmer of hope and I can’t imagine ever going through that ‘phase again.’

Be sure to remember every day is a blessing!

Catch More Flies

2010-04-20T12:48:00.001-05:00

This has been an experience, some good and some bad. During the short span of time, I have had the occasion to meet a number of people from a number of different backgrounds. All of them have imparted knowledge and wisdom to me in some way. The majority it seem, no matter their background or past all have one basic desire - for people to be nicer and more respectful - both to themselves and them.

The world has changed and continues to change - for in fact change is the only constant there is and we can be ascertain it will take place. The change that occurs though is in all of us and we control how the change forms. It is a collective change though each one of us individually can help to shape it, control its outcome.

Listening to different people in different places and different situations I notice that many people do not know, or choose not to be kind and respectful to others. Often times they are not kind or respectful to themselves either for whatever reason(s). They should be for we are all the same, each and every one of us.

Often times I wonder if they even teach some of the sayings that I learned in school like - The Golden Rule ‘do unto others as you would have them do to you,’ ‘share and share alike,’ for example. These seem to be such simple words, simple sayings but so powerful. The old adage, ‘you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar,’ is as true today as the day the saying was first uttered.

Most everyone has probably observed this in their lives and in some instances acted upon it. There are times when people turn to vinegar because it seems the only way to get their point across or gets someone’s attention. Try using a softer, kinder tone of voice.

As the saying goes, ‘Practice Random Acts of Kindness.’

B-I-N-G-O

2010-04-18T12:56:00.002-05:00

It is day four in the facility, I haven’t written about it in the last couple of days while getting settled in to the routine. What I have figured out thus far in order to survive the monotony of it all is to liken to life on an aircraft carrier, similar to the one I once served on. The space is limited, you are ‘confined’, the people are the same day in and day out, and it is the same shit just a different day. Want to change places?

The last four days have been largely spent in my room. The first day I was here, I had dinner in the dining room but since that time (the first meal), I have been dining in my room. The thing that I learned at that meal, is the same thing I have learned is the same all over, conversation is limited, for a lot of reasons.

The meals, both food and company wise are nothing like what I have experienced in the past and make me appreciate the ‘old days’ all that much more! Conversation over a great meal with great company is irreplaceable. Fewer people should dine alone, and when dining in a group enjoy the conversation! And the meal.

Thus far, the biggest social activity I have seen is the ‘daily’ and ‘nightly’ Bingo games. Hey, now I have nothing against Bingo, but the biggest prizes were 12 packs of soda and packs of candy, two of things I have sworn off and that are taboo to me.

Where it not for my laptop and an Internet connection, I would have less hair than I do for I am sure I would pull it all out from boredom! As it is, it provides a great source of entertainment and a valuable resource. Thank goodness for a good music and video collection, wireless head phones, a laptop and the Internet!

In the last day or two, I found out I will be seeing the doctor later this week which I am extremely anxious for! I am excited to hear his assessment and the game plan. This should be interesting! More about that later I am sure. It is important to me to get a long range ‘game plan’ into place here. The last thing I want is to end up like some of the residents that have been here for years!

Hey but they are having a banana split ‘social’ later this afternoon. Again, it is taboo to me!

Day One - Part Two

2010-04-16T16:46:00.002-05:00

My stress level is pretty high right now, there is so much going on and so much change. The change is not the same of any I have known before and which most people do not go through at such things at this age, if ever. It is now 9:19 pm and sleep seems hours away and I wonder how to fill my time. No TV, no Internet and the external hard drive with my movies on it in the closet on the other side of the room. Not that it is a big deal but I am trying to be considerate of my new ‘room mate.’ After all no need to piss him off the first day that I am here!

My ‘angel,’ Sharon, came back up tonight to bring me ‘my’ chair, ottoman and laptop table. A configuration I have spent so much time at over the years as I worked on so many projects along the way. It is almost the perfect setup for working on the computer. My ideal situation would be to modify a dentist chair but at this time I am so glad that I do not have one to haul around.

Back to Sharon, I really do not say enough about her as she has done so much and helped me out immensely during this time, since my stroke. Without her, I for sure would be on the streets or worse. Hopefully she realizes how stressed I am right now with so much going on and will forgive me my short temper. This is all so new and so many things to learn and experience.

Earlier while Sharon and I set on the patio visiting (and smoking of course), the head nurse came around to visit with me. It was not a social visit though, more so it was to continue the assessment and make sure the transition to the ’new’ home is a success. Again, I am left to wonder about the inefficiencies in human kind. Again, I am answering the same questions I must have been asked and answered at least a dozen times over the last six months. Isn’t there some why to at least standardize the questions?

The temperature has ‘fallen’ to 78.7 (Fahrenheit) in my room! Another 10 degrees and I would be extremely happy, If I didn’t have to get dressed and put my shoes on to go outside and smoke I would be happy! Not really, one of my intents is to quit smoking in the next few weeks and this is definitely a deterrent along with all that much more reason to quit. Be sure to include me in your thoughts and prayers to quit, along with sending your words of encouragement for me to quit and why I should.

Another assessment, this time to notate identifying marks on my body. Wow, how many times I have answered those questions over the course of my lifetime starting with the Navy all too many years ago. Along with the several tattoos that I have, I once contemplated getting an odometer tattooed on my arm. That was until I had a dream that the number started clicking by uncontrollably adding to the miles on my body! That notion for a tattoo didn’t last very long.

Well it is just past ten o’clock now and it seems that most folks here head to their rooms and ‘quiet’ down early. Walking down the halls you can hear the blaring TV’s and radios intermixed with the moans and screams of seeming agony from some resident’s. For the most part though it is quiet. A trip to the patio, yes again, found it empty and I am wondering if the patio will be my nigh time sanctuary, me and my laptop!

I am gone now for the evening, I think, it could be that I return later, you just never know. It has dropped 4/10’s of a degree to 78.3.

Day One

2010-04-16T16:45:00.002-05:00

Here it is, the first day at my new ‘home.’ Wow is my first impression. The only thing I can compare it to is my experience in the Navy the only big difference is that there are two people to room instead of many. No privacy and no room would be the two things I would use to sum it up! Laughingly, I think about all the clothes and stuff, I once had, and the amount of things that I still have. There is no way that it will all fit!

The first day is spent essentially getting settled in and ‘signing your life away’ while completing all the necessary applications and forms. Since I am moving from one state (Missouri) to another (Kansas) there are more applications to submit. It seems funny to me that states can ‘standardize’ standardize driver’s licenses and nearly all other ‘official’ documents to track you but they cannot make health records or laws standard from one to the other.

Other things that were different, between the ship and this room, the TEMPERATURE, for one. It was 81+ when I first got in here. Being a hot blooded creature, that is way beyond my comfort zone! Thankfully, I thought to bring a fan, the temp is now some where around 79 degrees. I wonder how I will ever sleep tonight with it being that warm. Of course, being ‘in public’ I will have to sleep with clothes on only to add to the temperature.

The other thing that is really a bummer is no Internet access, so I am typing this in my word processor and will have to cut and paste it into my blog later. Hopefully, so I am told I should be able to get access to the Internet tomorrow. I certainly, hope so, tomorrow is Friday and I cannot imagine going all weekend without access! Of course when I was in the Navy, Internet access was not a concern since it was not a big deal then. It is my understanding that they have it on ships these days. Man, that would be plush!

Dinner time! Sweet that the staff comes and announces dinner time and asks if you want to eat in your room. This evening, I chose not to eat in my room since it is my first meal at the facility. My whole time here (about three hours at this point - woohoo!), I have yet to see anyone close to my age other than the staff! So I make my way to the dining area and not knowing the layout or how things work, I grab a seat. It is at this time, I get to meet y second residence (more about the first soon).

So I get meet sweet Lilly, a women that has to be older than my grandmother. Now not that I have a thing against people older than me, I can converser and be nice to anyone! The ‘problem’ came as a result of conversation, or the lack of. The conversation consisted of my helping her scoot closer to the table and giving her my butter!

Now on the way back to my room after dinner, one of the dietary aides snags me and drags me into rehab right across from my room. Nope get your mind out of the gutter, it was nothing like that, merely a visit to get my weight. Undoubtedly room to take off a few pounds! Of course, that should be much easier after the meal I just had. Being fully clothed and having just ate of course I was heavier than I thought!

Now I had learned that I was going to be assigned to this room. It seems that they had been ‘waiting’ to assign someone to this room to room with the current occupant. It seems from what I heard have been told (and experienced thus far) the gentleman is something of a ‘recluse.“ One the staff thought I might be well ‘matched’ with. Come on now, I ask you do I seem like a recluse? Of course there are some advantages I suppose, but time will tell I am sure.

Well, I just got to meet the ‘night time’ activity manager, a nice enough lady. She was coming by to introduce herself and invite me to play bingo, at which I could win twelve packs of soda (I don’t drink it) and win candy (don’t eat it). Okay time for me to take a break and go outside to partake of my sanity, errr I mean nasty habit. I am going to smoke! More later.

Everything in Moderartion

2010-04-15T00:47:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite quotes is 'Everything in moderation, even excessiveness' Many are the times I have repeated that quote and even tried to live it to a large degree in my life. At times it seems that I have been more prone to live excessively in some regards but as I mature, it seems that I adhere more and more.

One of the reasons that I like and try to live by this quote is because almost on a daily basis you can hear how 'this and that' are bad for you and should be avoided. The list is expansive and seemingly ever changing; coffee, tea, eggs, mother's breast milk, alcohol, and on and on. If you wait long enough the story will change and soon you should be imbibing whatever, just in moderation. Once, I 'failed' an insurance interview because I did not drink alcohol. This was after being told so many times I needed to give up alcohol, no one had ever said keep it to moderation.

It is my firm belief that all things were put on this earth for a purpose. The choice to abuse or mutilate, control is our own. If such choices are made, they should be made without causing harm. The proliferation of companies along with the pursuit of the 'dollar' (profit) seem to make people lose their heads and care not whether they harm others or the planet.

Be prudent, do your due diligence before making a decision that could hurt yourself, hurt others or damage 'our home.' Remember, according to the American Indian, your decisions not only affect you but also the next seven generations.

Another Chapter in my Life

2010-04-14T02:02:00.000-05:00

In the next couple of days, a new chapter will begin in my life and I really don't what to expect from it but more change. This isn't change that I necessarily mastered, or even wanted for a number of reasons. The change was inevitable but even in the knowledge of that it did not make me want to accept it anymore. It is my belief that all things happen for a reason in the time they are meant to happen. With that in mind and knowing that this next chapter is about to begin, I am no longer fighting it but am actually welcoming of it.

It is yet to be seen what all is going to happen but it is inevitably going to happen. On Thursday, I will be moving to a health care center as a place to live. More than just a place to live, there will be medical staff as well. Not that i cannot take care of myself, more I am looking to them to help me recover all that much more fully. The presence of the medical staff should assist with this and also my research.

Not knowing what to expect, I am trying to be open minded about it all.

The Superioity Complex

2010-04-09T13:59:00.000-05:00

Some people refer to this as the 'God Complex' but that is a term I refuse to use.

If only I had as much time with doctors as I spend waiting on them I would be happier! Countless hours must be spent by myself and others waiting to see doctors for our 'appointments.' The average wait time from the time you enter the door until you see the doctor is over 21 minutes, with some times up to an hour. (Some one is seeing different doctors than me if they can be in in 20 minutes or so). The time to see a doctor in the Emergency room can be much worse! Times to wait for an appointment can be from a week to a year depending on the local and geographic location.

The same can be said when waiting to see a doctor in the hospital, or even worse, because you never know when they will show up. Is our time not as important as theirs? Might we not have other appointments to tend to? Decisions to be made based on their words of wisdom? Still we are at the mercy of the doctor as we sit waiting to see them.

Then once you actually see the doctor it seems that they are in a hurry to get to the next person (which of course they are because they are running late all ready!). When in the hospital the average 'visit time' is around 1 minute 45 seconds if the doctor is standing and just over a minute if they sit down according to one study. According to the study, patients understood better when the doctor sat down about 95% as opposed to 61% when the doctor remained standing.

Once you see a doctor in their office, the average time you get to spend with them is about fifteen minutes. How is it possible that they can hear, discuss, diagnose and cure (or prescribe) in that amount of time? This seems absolutely absurd when in many instances a situation can be unique to the individual, not to mention everyone is different and the subscription (of treatment or medicine) doesn't work the same for everybody the same.

Technology (medicine) are constantly changing and the doctor may not be up on the latest treatments, if he ever saw the problem, or it may be a rare disease or condition. Continuing education (CE) is almost always a requirement for licensed professionals but even that won't keep them up to date with everything. Also, where they get their CE can be a concern. These days a number of pharmaceutical companies provide CE. Always a chance of prejudice when anything is free!

A patient would do well to educate themselves as much as to be able to talk to the doctor. At least communicate to the doctor as best you can your condition and symptoms. Don't waste valuable time chit-chatting (you are paying for the appointment). Educate yourself as well as you can before going to the doctor so it isn't just their word and you can make more educated decisions.

Remember the doctor is not necessarily an authority on you condition and they are definitely not a superior being.

Not Mine but worth the time; thanks Ronda for sharing

2010-04-07T22:05:00.000-05:00

The article below is completely neutral, ...not anti- republican or
democrat.

Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando Sentinal has hit the nail
directly on the head, defining clearly who it is that in the final analysis
must assume responsibility for the judgements made that impact each one of
us every day.

It's a short but good read. Worth the time. Worth remembering!

545 vs. 300,000,000

EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST HAS
SCRIPTED IN THIS MESSAGE. READ IT AND THEN REALLY THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT
POLITICAL DEBACLE.

Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.

545 PEOPLE--By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then
campaign against them..

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are
against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and
high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on
appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme
Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are
directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic
problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem
was created by the Congress.   In 1913, Congress delegated its
Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered,
but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They
have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a
congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing.   I don't care
if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has
the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it
is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what
they did is not their fault.    They cooperate in this common con regardless
of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive
amount of gall.   No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker,
who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.....   The
president can only propose a budget.    He cannot force the Congress to
accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole
responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and
approving appropriations and taxes.   Who is the speaker of the House?
Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow
House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the
president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace
545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and
irresponsibility.   I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not
traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain
truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it
must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red ..

If the Army & Marines are in   IRAQ   , it's because they want them in
IRAQ

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan
not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire
and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they
can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from
whom they can take this power.   Above all, do not let them con you into
the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the
economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they
take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power..

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are
their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees...

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

What you do with this article now that you have read it......... Is up to
you.

This poetry might be funny if it weren't so darned true.
Be sure to read all the way to the end:

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table,
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.
Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.
Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.
Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid...

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
Taxes drove me
to my doom...'
When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

Plus ALL of these

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service FeeTax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone   State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, &
our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no
national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed
home to raise the kids.

What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'

I hope this goes around THE USA at least 100 times!!! YOU can help it get
there!!!

GO AHEAD - - - BE AN AMERICAN!!!

PS: If you do the right thing and pass this on - which is entirely up to
you - please do the right thing and highlite and delete any addresses you
receive with it.

A busy Week; Good things to come?

2010-04-06T17:23:00.000-05:00

This has been a busy week to say the least on all fronts! A lot of time has been spent doing research and communicating with different people learning about strokes. While some things are the same from person to person, most things seem to be specific to the individual. Of course being the curious type I seek all the knowledge and information that I can get on the subject. Also in some cases carrying out experiments on myself to see if different things work or not. I am bound and determined to recover from this as much as possible, or kill myself in the process. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don't like taking all the drugs. Often times I am learning that some of them have specific affects that I am trying to recover from!

earlier today I visited a facility in Kansas. to see about taking up residence. (It seems from what I have learned so far maybe Kansas takes care of people better, or at least those in my condition.) Tomorrow I will begin making calls and preparations to relocate to the facility. First I have to go a 'Level II' medical evaluation. The staff seems to think that will be no problem based on a couple of my 'conditions.' We'll see, I do not tend to get excited about anything until the ink is on the paper!

Two immediate positives, perhaps I can resolve some of my issues (like the spells I have) and I will have a more permanent 'home.' Nursing homes are definitely changing the way they look and operate! More on all of that when (if) I become a resident. I will say that they seem to be a lot less regimented in a lot of ways.

Earlier today I received a call from the SSA Disability office in Springfield regarding my Disability case. It seems tat my GP did not correctly state the status of my vision problem, or at least his report did not jive with what the Disability Office found consistent in cases similar to mine (amazing that they might be on my side in this!). Also, I found out the neurologist is not forwarding records from my last visit! More phone calls to go on my list of things 'to do' tomorrow. The one thing I did learn is that they are ready to make a ruling on my case as soon as the records! Wish me luck@

To 'arm' myself with information and data in preparation of my eye exam next week, I found an eye test on the internet. Of course it is driven to get you go to them (and spend your money) for rehabilitation. It was an informative test though and initial results show me to have less than a 40% field of vision!

Knee Jerk Reactions

2010-04-04T05:52:00.000-05:00

How many times in the past have you came to a decision without really thinking about or considering the long term affects (or consequences) before putting it into place? This is something we all, or almost all guilty of I am sure, both individuals and groups. I am sure you have seen many examples made by others, and possibly make knee jerk decisions that backfired. This is not to say that knee-jerk reactions always backfire or that they don't have a place in life but they should be the exception and not the rule!

These days it is almost a way of life, as individuals and companies seek out ways to reduce costs and increase profits (stay out of the red and in the black). One prime example that comes to mind immediately is the Health Care Reform.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect." - Mark Twain

The manner of how Health Care Reform was pushed through the legislature is just one example of what is wrong with it but that particular part of it spans far wider than the intent of this post. More so the long range effects of Health Care Reform should have been thought about before being pushed upon us and accepted by us (the population). There was and still is undoubtedly a need for Health Care Reform! A large part of the problem is that the majority of people recognized the need for change, they by and large welcomed the change(s). The problem is that though the change was welcome to few people took the time to educate themselves before acceptintg it and further fewer took any action to make it 'right.'

The vast majority of people all ready realized the need for change in Health Care and those that 'pushed' the reform though. They are the ones who stand to profit the most from the reform (or so they think). The majority of people saw the change and accepted it, but did not look at the much larger and far reaching affects.

All ready many people feel that Health Care is not what it should be in this country. Health care professionals and organizations all ready show their attitudes to treat the symptoms of the condition, not cure it. (I can attest to this from personal experience!). How can you expect adequate health care when your health care professional is seeing 70 to 80 patients a day?

These are a few of my predictions as a result of the Health Care Reform:

Increased reliance and strain on Public Assistance.
Decrease in the level (quality) of Health Care.
Decrease in the number of Health Care professionals.
More bankruptcies of more medical related companies.

I am curious to hear from others on this so be sure to leave comments below.

Another example is the conversations going on and in about the post office and going to a five day delivery schedule, cutting out Saturday delivery. First off such a change requires a change to the constitution which requires a Congressional vote. Secondly, this has been discussed and debated for years and keeps coning up because of fiscal reasons primarily. When considering this, first you must ask yourself "how important is getting your mail on Saturday." Then you need to at the big picture and see how this is really going to affect things.

This will only affect the carrier's, Post Office will remain open and all related support functions. What will happen to Saturday overnight deliveries? How much money will the Post Office actually save? Research and investigation of the backlog of mail over the weekend will need to be looked at. All read the Post Office 'suffers on Monday from the Sunday 'backlog' that occurs with no Sunday delivery. Will there be a need for increased overtime? Being as there is the propensity to use 'non-carriers' to perform carrier tasks on Saturday. Might this result in more grievances (Postal employees are union) resulting in additional revenue being spent? This is just a couple of points that need to be looked at and there are more but it is late.

I do have a couple suggestions on how revenue might be increased without reducing customer service; why not explore offering more customer service at a reduced cost from private industry and create more jobs?

In our personal lives, 'knee jerk decisions' come in a variety of areas; drinking on a work night lending to increased absenteeism, on a school night affecting a myriad of things. Or sex outside the marriage and the many number affects it has on all parties involved including the community and public aid. Extra-marital sex and the impact it has?

The list is almost endless! I am only scratching the surface here but hopefully it will cause some one to stop and think. Remember, charity starts at home - what better way than to start thinking smarter and making better decisions!

Healthy Eating

2010-04-04T02:01:00.000-05:00

Save 5 grams from your diet by removing the skin before you cook it.

Conversation

2010-03-31T23:51:00.000-05:00

A good conversation is something I truly enjoy! The ability to converse must be one of the greatest gifts a human possesses! Sadly it all too often goes to waste because few people really seem to be able to converse despite what they may think. Daily conversations generally fall into one of four categories and seldom are of one category only. Subjective, objective, about other people or about one's self are often times the four categories conversations are said to fall into.

Sadly, it seems that the latter two conversations are the type or category that most people seem inclined to engage in. All too often conversations about other people turn into gossip, something that I oppose greatly and will usually try to turn the conversion when it come to gossip. Either that or turn my attention away losing interest in the conversation entirely!

When it comes to a conversation that becomes totally one-sided and someone begins talking incessantly about themselves it is easy to lose interest in the conversation as well. Now a conversation about one's self can be satisfying when coming to know someone can be refreshing and informative, most welcome! The same can generally said of someone that you have not seen in awhile and want to catch up, or about a particular event or time during the person's life. When it is obvious the conversation has turned out to be solely conversation in order to get attention, I am turned off and tune out!

Now conversations of the former categories are of the most substance and entertainment. Maybe the satisfaction comes about through the intelligence required by one of a subject and the ability to convey the subject adequately! Personally, I enjoy and welcome some one who can converse and can help me to understand or come to understand an idea, or convince me of a view they hold.

So many people turn to senseless banter or gossip to try and hold a conversation and all too often about things that only themselves can relate to leaving other participants of the conversation lost and uninterested, myself included. Largely and often it seems that people are fearful of entering into a meaning conversation perhaps due to a lack of knowledge of the subject, or fear of their lack of knowledge of the language. In either case, it is probably best for the participant to shut up to listen and learn rather than show their stupidity!

There is the more intimate conversations that people seem to have a problem with as well! The inability to have personal and intimate conversations seems largely to be a problem as well. Largely it seems that this is because people are afraid to open up and reveal themselves, and their true feelings. For fear of rejection or admitting something to someone that would cause them to expose themselves to others. Yet all the while, opening up and daring to 'expose' themselves might make the relationship all that much stronger and enduring. When we keep things bottled up inside us we end up doing harm no only to ourselves but potentially to others as well.

Conversation is key to healthy relationships of all kinds but it is important to know the purpose of the conversation and its purpose.

The Whole Time in California - This was my biggest fear

2010-03-31T17:20:00.000-05:00

Even before I moved to California - while I was there 'temporary' I had one fear that lived with me the whole time. So much so I spent as much time as I could reading and learning about it! I watched every documentary that came on Television about it. Trying to do all that I could to prepare and safe myself in the event of a big one! I am of course talking about earthquakes!

Admittedly, I am claustrophobic! Just the mere thought of enclosed, tight cramped spaces sends me into a tizzy and can freak me out! Maybe this is one of the reasons that I am so strongly being cand remated versus being buried upon my death. In life though, death by fire is an extremely big concern and fear as well.

There have been two events in my life that caused me to realize my fear of claustrophobia. The first was in my very young life shortly after graduating high school. It was while working in my first refinery (an interesting experience). I was working during shutdown in this one unit. It required us to climb into this 'tube' and clean it to allow for the proper flow of product through it. Now the 'tube' was barely wide enough to climb inside little alone crawl inside and work. It was necessary to contort your body into the necessary position before entering the tube. Once inside there was barely room to move and maneuver as needed. It was way too close quarters for me. Cramped and the air seemingly hot and limited I barely got inside before I was on my way out to return to fresh air and unlimited space.

The second instance came early in my life and occurred shortly after reporting aboard ship in the Navy, as if reporting to my new command was not enough to scare me. A nine-teen year old, thousands of miles from home, alone and walking up to an aircraft carrier and 5000 new people. After reporting aboard and beginning to get settled I was assigned berthing quarters and my rack (bed). The rack was almost completely enclosed with a curtain in the 'front' which was pulled closed to afford some sense of privacy.

Once inside with the curtain pulled I realized how 'tight and enclosed' the quarters (rack) were the all the lights went out and I was immersed in total darkness. The kind of darkness where you can't see your hand in front of your face. To me for the first night or two, until you grow accustomed to it, it is like being enclosed in a coffin!

Scary stuff and both instances lending strength and confirmation that I was claustrophobic! Yet again, I digress from the main subject of this post, so let me get back to it. My original fear of earthquakes and their potential surfaced during my first extended stay in California. I was there for an extended stay while setting up a new plant. One night back in the hotel room I was watching Television and began watching a documentary on one particularly large earthquake in the Bay Area a few years ago. It was awe rendering and began me to thinking! Of particular interest and concern to me was seeing cars buried under the rumble of collapsing bridges. Seeing this summoned up some of my greatest fears, being trapped in a confined space.

After seeing this documentary I had new reason for my fears and it stayed with me my whole time in California, and today. So great was my fear of earthquakes I installed an earthquake tracker on my PC desktop so I could be aware of them occurring all around me on an almost daily basis! I knew there was no early warning system but still I prepared myself the best I felt I could. I went as far as ensuring every precaution possible was taken at the facility I worked at. Even 'arming' myself with more than just one flashlight in my office. Still my fear of earthquakes stayed strong and I grimaced and held my breath every time I had a need to cross over any one of the many bridges in the Bay Area.

Now I have to give my thanks to God that I was very fortunate during my entire span of time in California, a total of six or seven years total to have personally never experienced an earthquake! That is until just a matter of weeks before I am scheduled to leave! Then the most intense earthquakes hit the area I was living in and had an effect on yours truly. Reportedly it was the greatest magnitude earthquake in the Bay Area since the Loma Prieta in 1989.

Whether it was that big or not, I cannot confirm but what I can confirm is that I felt it shake. At first I didn't know what it was but my first though was that it was a large truck shaking the ground outside. About the the same time these thoughts were running through my head my room mate called from the other room that it was an earthquake! Getting up from my desk and making my way to the other room I saw her under a doorway. With not much need to encourage me, I joined her there as she suggested to 'ride' it out.

What an experience it was! A short time later (probably 30 seconds or less) and it passed. While it was going on I am sure there was a lot going on but the thing that stands out most in my mind is the sheet rock on the wall. It was like some thing in an acid trip! The sheet rock moved on the walls as if it was liquid! One of the strangest things in the world I had ever seen!

With the initial shock over we waited for the possible aftershocks while checking for damage in the house. Fortunately my room mate had been through earthquakes before and had pretty well earthquake proofed the house as well as indoctrinating me on how to be prepared for one. There was no major damage from the earthquake. Strangely though my PC would not power up.

How strange that the power supply would die due to the earthquake! It was while having the case off to replace the power supply that I discovered the CPU had come unseated. It was a lesson learned in more ways than one!

Ironically there was a fairly major quake in portions of MO just a few days before my relocation! Who would ever think about earthquakes in MO? Did they follow me here?

The Tractor Pull

2010-03-31T14:44:00.000-05:00

Within the week I received a call from my mother inviting me to a 'tractor pull.' This was something of an annual event (my mother received free tickets through the TV station that she worked) and involved my 'whole' family. HELL YEAH I was done for it, this was just the main reason I had moved back home to do things and be close to family! I was stoked to say the least and couldn't wait for the day to get there.

What an event it turned out to be! Not only was I with my family all together on a Friday night at at annual event, there was entertainment! As it turned out, there was more entertainment than what was on the agenda! That evening, while we were sitting there waiting for the 'tractor' pull a really huge storm blew in. The storm brought winds that were unlike any I could recall (even the ones I had experienced in New Mexico) and all of us 'fans' were forced to take shelter in the fall out shelter below the bleachers. It was something!

The storm must have been something, for my phone started ringing with a call from my cousin 30+ miles away calling to check on me! I was overcome, thinking to myself this is the way it is supposed to be, family calling family to check on them and make sure they are all right! It was a novelty to me but something that I liked and looked forward to in my life!

In time the storm blew over but not before dealing its devastation over miles! The 'tractor' pull went on as planned while we sat in the bleachers not having a clue to what happened around us until after the event. The ride home was filled with talk of the storm and how bad they can be as we drove home amid flashes of lightning all around us! Arriving at the turn on the highway to go back to my house we were forced to take a detour - the highway was closed due to the storm!

It was dark as we drove home and despite the detours and the storm all around us we could not tell the affects the storm had. It wasn't until the next day in the light of day that we were able to get out on the roads and see how devastating the storm was. Driving down road after road and by house after house the damage caused by the tornado was unmistakable and easy to see. It was horrendous! Entire houses moved! Lifted from their foundations and made uninhabitable! The uprooting of trees was unbelievable, huge trees and hundreds of them! Across the sky the plumes of smoke could not go unnoticed as people burnt piles of rubbish to recover from the tornado. It was eerie to look out across the plains and fields, the stands of trees and see the branches and trunks of huge magnificent trees strewn about like matchsticks. It had been one gigantic storm and my thoughts went out to all the families who suffered from it.

This storm had passed and all my family escaped its wrath - for that I was thankful!

Arriving Home

2010-03-31T13:50:00.000-05:00

Finally the first leg of the journey that had just began came to a close - my destination of Joplin was through and through the blessings of God and prayers of many I arrived safely and without incident!

The first order of business was to acquire the keys to my new residence! This required a call to my sister which ended up in a call to my mother to get the keys. My mother brought me the keys and soon I was able to see my new 'home' for the first time other than the digital description I had read and digital pictures I had viewed. The place was perfect and I was forever indebted to my sister (and mother) for all they had been through in getting me the place. I loved it!

My sister had helped to get the place and all the utilities turned on. The only complaint in hind sight would be the location.

The next task, was of course to get the truck and trailer unloaded, which I wanted to do before dark. This what not going to be a necessarily easy task since I had been up driving for over 24 hours, there was a huge set of steps between the driveway and the truck and I was alone to accomplish the task. I was determined though and finished what I set out to do! Mission accomplished I began setting up house and setting things the way that I wanted them.

Smoking

2010-03-31T13:14:00.000-05:00

Let me be up front for the record and say that I do smoke but hope to be a reformed smoker soon! For all the same reasons that every one else needs to quit so do I. It may well be one of the single best things I can do for my health (and all you other smokers too you don't want to end up like me).

All of these Smoking Ban initiatives, ordinances and actions perturb me to no end. It is discrimination I tell you! Just once I would like to go somewhere (like a restaurant) and see no Children Sections or better yet No Children Allowed (how many violations of Age Discrimination would that start?) or how about No Handicap Sections or better yet, No Handicaps Allowed (even more counts of discrimination suites). So tell me how is it not discrimination against smokers? I don't see any ordinances or actions to close drinking establishments!

Often times, people call for action on something without fully considering the impact of such actions. If anyone is of the right mind, they will boycott and avoid such places. Often times, when I can I will not visit establishments that Ban Smoking, not just because I am a smoker, but because I support the rights of others.

Personally I have seen establishments close their doors in opposition of the No Smoking policy. These business owners should be applauded! Other businesses have been forced to close their doors for lost revenue through the loss of business. The loss of revenue can be devastating to everyone involved.

The 'recent' history of the United States should serve as a reminder that prohibition does not work! Does anyone remember the Volstead Act? Remember that those who forget history are bound to repeat it. And we do continue to over and over again.

Privileges, not Rights

2010-03-30T23:51:00.003-05:00

We have almost all said it at one time or another, sometimes on multiple occasions, 'I wish I knew now what I knew then.' Let me tell you, nothing could be more true for me these days!

Much of my free time these days are spent thinking about all the things I wish I had done when I had the chance! If I had been wiser and more disciplined I probably could have, I at one time had the means if I set my mind to it to do just about anything but alas those days are gone and apt to never return.

More so time is spent thinking about the things I did do but would have done differently! There are tons of them to say the least! For the most part, the things I would do differently are the way I have interacted with people. For the most part, I have been honest and true to those I come into contact. As I have grown older my words, thoughts and actions towards others has become more compassionate and true, definitely less selfish.

There are a lot of people in my life that I do or have called friend. As it turns out many of them were only acquaintances to some where wanna be friends. In some instances, I wasted my true friends, and some times family on these so called friends. Looking back there were some people who were true friends and I let the friendship go by the wayside often times for my own selfish pursuits and reasons, the same can be said of some family too.

It took me a long time to realize that family and friends are privileges and not rights. Of course, some people only come into our lives for a time, to fill a purpose. Looking back I can identify some of those, but in many instances I confused the two. In the end I have lost a lot of good friends! Some times though the decision to part ways, for whatever reason was theirs but still the loss is the same.

Family to a large extent is the same, we expect them to always be there. It is important to remember that family too is a privilege and not a right. Even though they will always be our family through blood, they do not have to accept us or treat us as their own. We always expect family to be there for us but it does not necessarily have to be the case, and often times is not!

Relationships don't just happen and remain forever! They require care and nurturing, things as well as space to go grow and thrive. Given not enough or too much and they will die. Make it too one sided and they will die as well. As in life, it requires balance. Learning the balance required is not always easy, if ever truly learned. The absence of friends in your life is as detrimental to your health as smoking or being overweight.

Things Taken for Granted

2010-03-29T23:08:00.001-05:00

These days it easy for me to realize a lot of things, one of them is all the things I took for granted (I am sure others can relate to at least some of these things).

Probably the biggest thing I miss is my eye-sight, the loss of which contributes to most all others. I know that I am blessed to have the eye-sight I do have, I am not completely blind but maybe legally blind (I will find out next week). Though I used to mess with eye-glasses and in my vanity contacts, my vision was still 20-20 (or close to it) and my field of vision great! All the same, I took it for granted, thinking I would always have it. Practically in the blink of an eye it was gone.

Losing your eye-sight, even partially makes you realize how much you depend on in, without even thinking about it.
The other thing I have come to realize is how much you depend on it for things without even realizing it like one's balance, or the way that you move. I am definitely not as quick on my feet or as sure as I once was.

Along with the eye-sight goes all so many things. One of the things I miss truly is my way to get around the kitchen! No more big elaborate meals for family and friends!

Really I am not throwing a pity party! More I just want people to be truly aware of what they have and make them aware no to take such things for granted anymore. Simple things like being able to read - instructions, directions or a book!

Though I miss so many things that I used to take for granted, I am truly thankful for all that I do have! Be sure to give thanks Ever Day for all the things you have, you might not have them tomorrow!

A Place to Live?

2010-03-29T22:57:00.000-05:00

Finally? Maybe? Almost six months after the stroke it looks like maybe I have found a facility to take me on. The game plan is supposed to be to go and check it out this weekend. There have been so many obstacles to overcome to get to this point. The two biggest issues being my 'young' age (no being considered a senior yet) and money (I have no insurance and am on public assistance). While I am waiting for word from the SSA (Social Security Administration) on my SSI/SSD case (at the time you apply you are told that it can be two weeks to four years to get a ruling).

At the moment, I am on Medicaid alone which only offers about $292.00 a month for housing. Even in Missouri, a person would be hard pressed to find a place to live on that amount. After finding a place to stay there are utilities on top of that.

It appears that facilities for a person of my age with my needs are at a premium and very hard to find. Wish me luck that this all works out and the facility will work out so I don't have to resort to the street or shelters!

Kevin's Warped Mind

2010-03-29T17:01:00.000-05:00

In this section of the blog, it will be my 'diary,' a collection of thoughts and views on different topics. Trying to be organized and keep things segregated here and easy to read. The views on the blog are mine and are not to be taken for legal, medical, or personal advice - the entries are strictly for your education and entertainment value. Feel free to use it as you can for your personal growth and development but please seek professional advice before applying any of to your personal life. If you care to discuss any of it, let me know, I am always interested in other view points.

Driving to Missouri

2010-03-29T16:25:00.046-05:00

Two days and some hours later, the pickup and trailer loaded, I a ready to head eastward to Missouri leaving California, but not for the last time. I would have to travel back at least one more time on business before that chapter would draw to an end.

Bound and determined to make it as quickly as possible, I pushed myself and the truck (an trailer) as hard as I could trying to get to Missouri as fast as possible. The trip was really a blur with nothing truly notable happening on the way. The only two memorable moments being to have to pay $4.59 in California for gas (one more reminder of one reason I was ready to leave HIGH PRICES!) and a break in New Mexico to stretch my legs.

Rested and awake, I looked for someplace to fill up the truck and my belly before continuing eastward. It was easier to find someplace to fill up the truck than it was my belly so I filled up the truck and headed eastward. I was just a ways west of Flagstaff, and did not stop to eat until I was east of Flagstaff. Traveling alone had its advantages but having company would have been nice too. There were so many things to stop and see and so many empty miles that could have been filled with conversation and idle chat!

Just east of Flagstaff, I found a truck stop with a restaurant and pulled in to tend to my needs. As I got out of the truck, I was amazed at how the wind was - strong enough to push my (at the time) 220lb+ self across the parking lot! My goal to eat not dampened or thwarted by the wind I made my way in for an unforgettable meal before continuing my trek eastward.i

Seeming to inch way along I wondered if I would ever reach my destination the suddenly Arizona was behind me and I entered New Mexico. Not a major deal, not that the scenery had changed that much or that I was on any kind of schedule other than my own. Still it was a milestone and I was that much closer to my destination. Quickly I calculated in my head approximately where I was and how much further (longer) I had to go.

With blessings the truck continued to 'purr' along and I was thankful to the Lord for making it this far with no complications or trouble. Stoked with the excitement of reaching my destination and feeling rested after sleeping in Arizona, I continued on my way with no intention of stopping for sleep again until I made Joplin. A little further down the road and I noticed a great deal of neon lights. It was a casino and seemed to be the perfect place to stop and stretch my legs for a 'few' hours without actually getting a room.

After pulling in to the casino parking lot, I parked the truck and trailer and made my way to the front door of the casino. Now there was nothing spectacular about this casino, out in the middle of no-where New Mexico. It was pretty much like any other Indian casino I had or have been to in my life. All the same it had slot machines and seemed to fit my needs to stretch my legs. I walked around for a bit until I found a familiar looking machine and plopped my frame down on the stool.

With money (pre-trip win in California) and time to burn, I put $20.00 into a nickel machine and commenced to press the buttons. Other than it was a short time later, I am not sure how long I played before the machine began going off with all its bells and lights! Fortunately it was fairly late at night in the middle of the weeks and an attendant found me relatively quickly to make good on my winnings. The win was a blessing and added to my bankroll and helped to fund the cost of the trip!

Not wanting to push my luck, I collected my winnings and headed back out to the truck to continue my venture east! Checking the status of the gauges, I looked at the clock to see I had whiled away two hours. More than ample time to stretch my legs! Feeling pumped by my blessings I continued through New Mexico and watched the sunrise.

With pangs of hunger starting to well up inside me and the morning sun shining in my sunglassless (note previously broken sunglasses) I began to look for a place to have breakfast. It wasn't long before I spotted a familiar sign and pulled in for a leisurely breakfast before continuing on.

Venturing onwards it wasn't long before New Mexico was behind me and I entered Texas for a brief period before it became Oklahoma. Entering into Oklahoma, called for a brief stop to service and fill the truck at the first filling station. It was a short stop, before continuing the journey but required a stop a short time later to service, feed me before continuing on. Carefully planned I might add to avoid heavy traffic in the traffic centers (Oklahoma City) before hitting the turnpike and making my way into Joplin.

Why Don't Dogs Eat Oranges? - Ascorbic Acid - better known as Vitamin C

2010-03-29T16:24:00.000-05:00

Reading the article on Mayo Clinic, the search for information on many of my conditions related to my stroke was on! Though I only scratched the surface this night the information was both interesting and useful and will spur me on to read and study more!

There was one website in particular that I found both interesting and intriguing and was the impetus of much more reading that night (and in the future). Also I found one very interesting fact that I had probably considered in the past but ever acted upon to find the answer. Why don't dogs (or other animals eat oranges or other citrus?) They don't have to! Unlike other animals and mammals, humans do not have the ability to manufacture Vitamin C and must get it through their diet!

Among all the web sites I visited I found one of particular interest Natural Health Guide. It made sense to me and follows very much on my beliefs. Not wanting to jump on board without more research, I did a lot of researching and reading on Vitamin C (and related vitamins and minerals) to see what was being said.

Since this had to greatly to do with the research and work of Dr. Matthias Rath, I searched to see what I could find out about him on the Net. The only negative comments I was able to find were in regards to retractions on negative statements made in reference to him. I then turned my search to the affects of vitamin C on health. WOW! There were untold references to the positive affects of vitamin C, especially in regards to cancer and cardio diseases and health. Many of the references were made on major media outlet website!

Wanting to take all the possible steps to get off all the medications I am currently taking and based on my previous experience, I decided more investigation and research was warranted. Stating today, I am taking 6000mg of vitamin C and 1000 mg of Lysine but still taking my normal medications. As soon as I can, I will have testing done to compare my blood with my previous baseline measurements. I will continue my daily monitoring in case an issue arises. I will provide periodic reports on the blog about my well being and general health.

Just as a note, maybe I am having a 'good' day but after starting the intake of vitamin C and lysine I feel what I would term 'above average' today. Of course it could be a result of a good day and the phone conversation earlier.

Pray for me if that is your belief or say a good omen, whatever the case.

Nature's Way

2010-03-29T10:25:00.002-05:00

Never have I been big on polluting my body with lots of man-made chemicals and I am always on lookout for natural and organic ways to do things. Taking drugs of any kind, even an aspirin, always seemed wrong to me maybe one of the reasons I always balked at going to the doctor! Today going through all the medication I am prescribed is scary and maddening to me for a number of reasons. In many cases, medication fights only the symptoms and does little if anything to actually fight the cause of the disease.

Also, the exuberant profits made by big pharma companies. Now it is not totally about the profit but the ways it is made, though lies and deceit. Honest profit is one thing, 'cooking the books' to make it is another thing! The Laws of Pharmaceutical Industtry by Dr. Matthias Rath describes greatly the purpose and intent of the pharmaceutical industry - it it not to cure and treat but for profit. Personally, I agree with Dr. Rath's writings on this. Also,I am a strong advocate that God put everything on this earth for a reason!

Most everyone and every company seems these days to jump on the "Natural, Organic or Green" band wagon and seek their fortunes! That is not to say that there isn't a need for manufacturers, vendors and producers etc. but the profit should be in that! Readily providing goods and services to consumers, not in taking something that all ready exists and works and modifying it merely to change the name and make it profitable! (there are many examples and references to this).

The other night after receiving an email from one of friends over on http://strokesurvivors.org/ title 'High Blood Cholesterol,' I read the referenced article and launched myself into about five hours of research that night until about 2 a.m. The reference was to the Mayo Clinic and I found the article informative and a great deal of additional information which I was happy to read!

Fueled and excited with the information I read on the Mayo Clinic website I continued on visiting dozens more websites before calling it a night. The reading left me both stunned and mortified at some of what I read. it was kind of like when I read on artificial sweeteners and quit drinking soda. I felt better both in mind body not to mention I lost a ton of weight and saved bookus money!

The First Hospital Stay

2010-03-26T03:11:00.036-05:00

Bare (or is that bear?) with me, as I try to tell this portion on the story as best I can. During this portion of time I was truly not of my write mind (more than you can imagine for those that know me even!) I will post more later to give you an example of how good or bad it was.

During the entire stay, I remember a slew of questions coming at me by what seemed to be a ton of people. Some of the questions, requiring answers I would be embarrassed to tell my mother or my best friend! At this point though the 'name of the game' is Kevin Get Better and the show must go on, so I answered wholly and truthfully, or at least I think I did!

Don't even think of going to the hospital to get rest! Every time you get comfortable with the lights out ready for some good rest - BOOM! The lights are back on and their is someone else to poke you, prod you, give your arm a good squeeze and draw some more blood!

MAN! They take so much blood, it is no wonder that they keep the IV hooked up to you so they can pump fluids in you to make more blood! There was once occasion when a 'blood tech' came in to draw blood. Not just a via or two, her mission was to take 28 vials. And she was determined to, one prick at a time. Literally, the woman stuck me anew for every single vial of blood. I had enough though before she completed her mission and told her she was through. I couldn't take anymore and she wasn't getting anymore!

Is amazing some of the things they want to do to a person to cure them! Some of the procedures will leave you a changed person, or in some instances kill you! Other things you don't have in the hospital are dignity or privacy. Do they write their procedures so as to let everyone know to deprive the patients of; rest, dignity and privacy?

Along with the battery of normal tests (CT Scan, MRI, EEGs, etc), there were a ton of other tests and procedures - the kind that can change you for life, or put you six feet under. As if all the tests aren't enough to scare a soul, they talk about all the possibilities of what may be wrong with you. In my first 48 hours in the hospital there was talk of all kinds of things, from Cancer to AIDS and I don't even remember. I probably don't want to either but I am thankful I don't have them.

Not knowing, at the mention of Cancer and AAIDS, I start calling family asking them to come up and talk to me about all the things we need to talk about. For one reason or another, no one came save my cousin. What, or if we talked while she was there I don't even remember.

After I was in the hospital in Joplin for a couple of days the decision to send me to St Louis was made. The reason being that (or I was told) was there was a test or procedure that needed to be done there. Though the decision was made, the order did not come through for two or three days. The trip there is another whole other story for later on.

In the meanwhile, the neurologist decided he couldn't or didn't want to wait for results of a spinal tap (also known as lumbar puncture) from St. Louis, he was going to do it himself. Right then and there - in my hospital room! Of course this is one of those procedures that can leave you a changed person! Always with the potentially life changing procedures there is a dissertation about all the things that can potentially occur to you as a result. Of course somewhere between dissertation and the actual procedure comes the paperwork. This is when you get to sign on the dotted line and say is 'okay,' you understand and accept the risks associated with said procedure! Oft times not even getting to talk about odds or percentages. Even if there is time, you will probably be hard pressed to find someone willing to give you odds - no time for calls to Vegas!

This time the procedure went 'good' and the results were favorable. I say the procedure went 'good' because I suffered none of the anticipated, or discussed complications. That is not to say that some of my ongoing issues would be present had I not had the procedure down.

Getting Ready to Lock before I Roll

2010-03-26T02:36:00.000-05:00

The thought of moving across the country this time brought up so many fears inside me, I can't name them all. This was not the first time I had moved cross-country but it was my first time to do it 'all alone.' Always before their had been a company making and handling arrangements, or I had someone on the other end waiting and established. Moving to a foreign State that I had only visited before to be close to people (my family!) that I hardly knew. This brought about a big fear compounded by many more fears.

One big surprise to me is just how much 'stuff' you can accumulate in four years despite the fact you are essentially living in a master bedroom! In my mind, I was sure it would all fit in a small trailer (4x8) and my pickup! I packed and sorted, getting rid of the things I could stand to part with. I called and made reservations for the trailer, explaining what kind of vehicle it was hooking up too (my pickup) and was assured all was good and there would be no problem!

In preparation, on my first day of freedom (no more going to the office) I had the truck serviced and checked for everything possible and it only cost me about $1500! Now this was slightly over what I had budgeted but I was not worried. A fateful trip to a local casino (while the truck was being serviced) landed me a fair sized windfall to cover the cost of service! (The casino win assuring me more that this was part of the Divine plan and making me more sure of the move)!

Sunday rolls around and it is time to pick up the trailer and get ready to roll! My excitement takes a nose-dive after talking to the attendant and him informing that he couldn't hook the trailer to the bumper of my truck. Now this is something that had been discussed and I was assured it was okay! With not many other options, I ask if they can install the tow package needed to rent the trailer to me. Of course they can, just not on Sunday as the technician was off on the weekend!

Frustrated and determined to leave, I put the phone lines to blazing, even calling the General Manager of the Rental Company (at the time I had clout). It seems that there was some kind of insurance regulation in California that required a towing package (I often wondered what would happen if I showed up in the smallest car supposedly rated for the trailer?) No matter, I was going to have to get a tow package installed on the truck if I was going to rent a trailer from this company!

Monday morning and I am hot on the trail to find another company to install the aforesaid required tow package. Success! I find a company that I would much rather do business with for the task at hand! Only bad thing, they are on the other side of town. I call and make another reservation for the trailer (at a different office though - something a little further away but that I had done business with before!) On my way out the door to get the tow package installed and the mobile rings, it is the office and someone needs something. While on the phone gathering the required information to complete the request I make my way back into the house knowing this is not going to be a quick fix.

Going back into my room, I find a hassock to plop down on and finish the call. Finishing the call, I realize that I am going to have to break out my laptop and access a computer at work. Removing my sunglasses, I toss them on the floor to move to the bag where my laptop is. Crunch! There are things strewn all about the floor so it was apt to be anything. With the laptop hooked up, I access the computer and deliver the required information. Packing up the laptop, I let the bag drop to the floor and bend over to scoop up my sunglasses.

Bending down I notice a pile of broken glass and twisted metal and my first though was 'ah what did I crunch in my haste? Upon closer examination of the pile of rubbish I naturally find it is my sunglasses! Now these aren't just sunglasses, they are my PRESCRIPTION sunglasses. In preparation of the move, I had taken care to have eyes examined and new glasses prescribed.

Too much to be bothered with just now, I am all ready behind schedule and don't have enough time to get a new pair fashioned before I leave. I decide to push on and use my transition lenses on my 'regular' glasses. Upon my arrival to get the tow package installed, I am informed that 'it will be awhile.' The little while turns into several hours and I am in jeopardy of missing my appointment to pick up the trailer. Finally the tow package is installed with another entry to the deficit column (unexpected) in the amount of $400.00. Not to worry though, as the previously mentioned windfall, though dwindling still covers the cost.

Finally I make it to pick up the trailer just as they are ready to lock the gates and I return to my soon to be ex-residence. Tired and all ready a day late in leaving I am faced with the choice of pushing on and packing that night to leave or just wait to pack the truck and trailer the next morning.

By the time I got home, my room-mate was home and we discussed my predicament. Also, that if I started packing it might carry on to late and disturb the neighbors. So I voted on dinner with my room-mate and a night's rest before venturing on.

The Final Straw

2010-03-25T14:49:00.000-05:00

With the final straw delivered and my notice given to leave there were a ton of details to be tended to both in California and Missouri.

Details with my company that were necessary prior to my leaving, getting everything ready to go like packing up my belongings, the drive from California to Missouri. It doesn't look like much when you write it down like that but it entailed a lot!

A prerequisite was agreeing on a final day with my company, finding a replacement and telling customers none of which would be easy. Fortunately back in Missouri, I have a sister who was welcome (somewhat reluctantly) to finding me a place to live. I say reluctant, because think about it she was going to view the place and I was going to make a decision based on her opinions. Not an easy for anyone to be in. In hindsight, I would have (should have) never put her into that position.

Had I been smart, I would have made arrangements to get here and then find a place. The place i 'found' (thanks to Craigs List) sounded perfect in more ways than one. It was close to all my family (within 20 miles) and close to town. With the rent being comparable or below what I was used to in California and the location, it seemed like a on brainer to me, close to town, close to family but not too close (a way bit closer than the almost 2000 miles I currently lived).

Unknown to me, there was a lot more going on at the company that directly affected me than I knew and would have only added to my decision to leave. So it all seemed to add up all the more - the timing is what it was meant to be. The company and I negotiated and agreed on the task list to be completed before I left. We also agreed to a term of 'temporary' off-site employment to ensure the successful turn-over of my position. We agreed I would remain on the payroll for six months for the transition.

Everything was perfect and seemed to be lining up the way for God intended for me to move back to Missouri. I know that I felt more at ease than ever with my decision!

The Recurring Episodes

2010-03-24T14:04:00.001-05:00

With some frequency, but at random, I have what I refer to as 'episodes' for lack of a better term. Until my most recent trip to the ER, both my GP (General Practitioner) and neurologist referred to these as TIAs, now my neurologist is not sure what they are.

My first experience began in January 2010, when a call to 911 was prompted to take me to the hospital. While sitting at the desk quietly I was overcome by a major episode that left me with very blurred speech, paralysis in my left side and a numbness in my face and mouth. The paramedics told me it was probably a TIA. Upon delivery to the ER, the attending neurologist also indicated I probably had a TIA and I was admitted for additional observation and testing. This episode to be continued later.

There are generally what I call three levels of these episodes:

1. Major as described above.
2. Medium - ringing or pressure change in ears (usually left but occasionally right) with loss of coordination in limbs and inability to walk or speak clearly. An overall warm feeling.
3. Mild - ringing or pressure change in ear (left or right) with inability to walk.

All three episodes leave me tired. None of this occurred before the stroke. Any one of three are apt to come on at any time for no rhyme or reason and do not appear to be related to any particular behavior patterns (eating, activity, sleeping, etc.). The doctors, both GP and neurologist state that TIAs should be controlled by medication for Blood Sugar, High Blood Pressure and High Cholesterol. Though all levels appear to be within limits the episodes still continue.

All episodes are of short duration, thirty minutes or less but can and do occur multiple times a day.

The Emergency Room

2010-03-24T11:05:00.018-05:00

Now I have never been one to like doctors, hospitals and least of all emergency rooms as is the case with most people. For me, it always takes too long and requires dealing with a lot of people with too little time on their hands to care about you and talk to you as if you are a first grader. Add into the mix that you are not completely of your right mind and it is a scary proposition. In my mind there is no good night to go to the emergency room especially on the weekends, but here I was.

My original hope was that the ER would find something wrong, give me a shot and send me home. No such luck and I am sure my heart sunk to learn that I was being admitted. I am not too proud to say that in some regards, I am probably not the easiest patient in the world do to deal with. Though I am generally polite and treat others with respect, I am very inquisitive and want to know all the answers, all the i's dotted and t's crossed. It is just who I am, learned behavior from my past.

Of course there are first the 'thousands' of questions about your past which I would be reluctant to share with a fried in many instances since I am a fairly private person. Take into account my condition at the moment and my brain isn't firing on all cylinders and the memory is clouded. It is difficult at best to disclose you lifetime medical history, especially to strangers.

It is very important to have a strong support network, with people who care about you for many reasons. In the initial phase there are dozens of procedures, medications and other decisions to be made which can affect a person's life for all time. Trying to consider and decide on all on these things is not always easy even when of total and complete mind, little alone when you are not all there. It is a scary proposition to learn that some of the treatment and tests being talked about are not even of the norm for diagnosis. In this instance I am referring to a brain biopsy but more about that later.

Coming to Missouri

2010-03-24T00:40:00.000-05:00

The exact time I decided to come to Missouri, is not as important as is the reason I decided to come back. It must be at least five or six years since making the decision but more importantly I wanted to move back to be closer to family and to establish a relationship that had been missing for years. First, a little about what me decide to move back.

There were a series of events leading up to my decision to move back home; the desire and need to be closer to family, I was growing tired and burnt out in the job I had been with for almost ten years, and I was ready to leave California to a new and slower pace.

The decision to return to Missouri grew stronger the longer the thought germinated in my mind with each trip back home to visit family and a number of decisions made within the company. Finally in April 2008, the final straw fell at work and giving my notice to leave my position rolled almost naturally from my lips. I had all ready made up my mind and learning that annual bonuses were going to be reduced to 10% was enough for me to make my decision publicly known to everyone. All ready I knew that I was under paid and a reduction in the annual bonus only made that more of a reality.$`

The decision to leave my position at the company was not necessarily an easy one. After almost ten years with the company, I had advanced from supervisor to senior manager. The position was great for my ego too, bringing me over $100k a year and giving me a global presence. The glamor of the job quickly faded after the company was bought out and focuses changed more to the bottom line - profit.

It all added to my conviction and the reasons I needed to move back to Missouri.

This Chapter of my Life

2010-03-23T17:10:00.000-05:00

This chapter of my life started on the 25th of October, 2009, just two days short of my 48th birthday - what a surprise the way it has ended up!

The morning started out normal, filled with errands as many weekends are. One last stop at the department store, with me running in to grab one item before heading home. I remember feeling fine going through checkout and walking out towards the door. Just as I went through the door, I knew something was not right. I fought to keep from going down and thought it fortunate the poles were relatively close outside the door, giving me something to lean on while I regained myself. It was surreal feeling the way I could look across the drive and see Sharon in the car waiting for me, I just couldn't force myself to make my way to the car. Fortunately there was a break in traffic and Sharon was able to make her way across the drive to where I was.

The drive home was uneventful, with the only real event I recall was rolling up the window at some point, the wave of warmth that had followed the 'attack' leaving me. After pulling into the driveway, I don't even recall if I helped with carrying the packages in. The first thing I remember is falling into the recliner to rest. My time in the recliner was short lived before being over taken by a violent vomiting spell. (The Exorcist had nothing on me from what I hear.) And I made my way to the bathroom to lay near the toilet and attempt to have some control. As it was the vomiting passed and I passed out on the bathroom floor (on the cool tile). Sometime later in the day Sharon helped me to the bed, where I lay sleeping for four days.

Our original thought was that I had the Swine Flu after being exposed the previous week. When finally I did awake, I attempted to make a simple breakfast of cinnamon rolls (from a can). It was obvious while observing me try to accomplish this simple task that something was wrong. My coordination was all off and I wasn't able to focus clearly or totally.

My thoughts were that maybe I was weak after being ill and in bed for so long. Sharon on the other hand felt I needed to go to the emergency room. By the time she arrived home that evening, I was in total agreement as I knew that I was not getting better.

Monday 22, 2010

2010-03-22T16:47:00.001-05:00

A new day and a new blog for me to share my experiences, beliefs and events with the world. My world, my life has changed dramatically since October 2009. For you who are aware you will be able to catch up here and those don't know will learn about me. There is also much that I have learned about life along the way through the years and across the miles. Maybe some of it will be familiar to you, either because you experienced it yourself; maybe on your own, with me or because of me.

This blog is just as much for me as you in some regards. Writing with pen and paper is a chore for me these days, so it is easier to document things here; my memories, my thoughts, my lessons of life and all it holds, and just about anything else I care to write about. If you read the pages you will possibly learn a great deal about me.

It is based on my truth, that which I have seen with my own eyes, heard with my own ears, or experienced personally. I strive here to be, and always to be impeccable in my words.